Is it a bad idea to date a neighbour?
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 11-13-2005 - 10:15pm |
A month ago, this guy bought the unit on my floor that is two doors down from mine (I Rent). I met him shortly after he moved in as I was coming home from the bar one night - he was outside with some friends - 2 guys I actually know very well from college and hung out with on occasion!
Since then we've started to hang out alot, I sometimes walk his dog and on occasion, he has come by and knocked on my door at 3am to see if I wanted to get pizza after the bar. The other night he had a party and tons of my friends came.. it was fun but I ended up falling asleep and everyone went to the bar anyway. At 2am I woke up and shortly thereafter and guess who was at my door! I was really glad to see him - he came in and rubbed my feet while we watched some oc episodes - it was cute. I like him. i know he likes me...but I can't tell if it is in a "booty call" kind of way. He hasn't really tried anything....and nothing has happened.
My friends that have met him think he is awesome - and that we would be great together...but I can't help think that dating a neighbour could be really bad - how can I figure out if it is for real? or if he just wants a convenient booty call?
I definitely should not do anything with him - like physically, I know that. ... but I am very bad about letting a guy know that I like him - without resorting to something physical.
Any help would be appreciated.
cheers
kaye

Kaye,
Just keep it light and friendly, as if he was an old time buddy that you hang out with.
I can't say yes or no.
Just think carefully, not about the potential relationship but what happens if it doesn't work out. Are you going to be okay with seeing him frequently? What happens if he finds a new girlfriend quickly and you have to see them together every day?
Just something to think about.
Well, I do have some reservations regarding his timing ... 2 and 3 am ... but, if he hasn't tried anything... trust your instincts about him and just get to know him.
As for dating a neighbor, go for it ... if you like him, just because he lives 2 doors down shouldn't take him out of the dating pool.
A friend of mine had similar reservations ... the guy next door was expressing interest in her, helping her out with stuff around the house ... she'd tell us how nice he was being, and that she liked him ... but, she just wasn't sure about it because, if it didn't work out, she'd have to run into him all the time.
What if's!? So what! We told her "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
(and for the record, my friend did go out with the guy ... and several month later, they're still dating and he treats her like a queen!)
Well... funny that I got these replies! (thanks tho :) )
Rewind to Monday... hadn't seen or heard from him (and I know he's been home because he messaged me on the sunday) and I could hear his dog in the hallway. I left a bunch of my stuff at his place when we were partying together the other night, so I knocked on his door around 9pm.
He takes like an extended amount of time to come to the door...and when he does he looks like he rolled out of a hamper (totally wrinkled clothes - like they'd just been picked up off the floor) and the lights are out and a movie is playing..he barely opens the door and basically acts all awkward and blows me off totally. I felt like such a loser. It really hurt my feelings since we'd been hanging out all the time lately - and not to mention I didn't get ANY of my stuff back. The thing is, he totally had a girl over..and I asked him before if he had a girlfriend (since I dropped off his key once and there was a girl over - seemed like a similar situation). and he said that was his oldest friend in the world and no blah blah... so..
you were right! he has a new girlfriend (so easily replaced am I ...) and now it is totally awkward since he obviously knows I know he lied... I think I have to move!
thanks for your advice
best
kaye
well, two doors down is rough, I totally agree, the two of you are privy to a little too much info about the other - like if you start dating and he brings another girl to the apt.
however it looks like you might be heading that way so if and when the time comes that the two of you appear close to leaping into love (or at least lust) talk over these issues first to determine how you might handle ticklish situations, boundaries, your booty call fears, etc. This means you also ought to give serious thought to this. Honesty and communication are key here
so the answer - yes, it can be problematical but that doesn't mean it 100% would be a terrible idea either.