Is it jealousy? Or do I just not get it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2004
Is it jealousy? Or do I just not get it?
3
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 4:44pm
I've been dating this guy on and off for three years now. Mostly off for the past year. I recently got back from a European vacation, and was talking about how I would love to move there. He didn't seem too happy about it. He started emailing me pictures of Europe so that I could "be there anytime I wanted to" and told me that he's "one thing you can't get in Europe".

I didn't read too much into it, and I don't want to harp on this - I know he doesn't want a commitment. But he's never said anything like that to me before. He's always been one of those, "go for it", "you only live once" kind of advice givers. Since I don't speak man talk, does anyone have some advice as to maybe why all of a sudden he's coming up with these comments to keep me here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 4:56pm

Hello witchblade... welcome to the board!


There is an old saying (I am old and can remember it!) - "You don't know what you've got until you lose it"... Many times a man will feel secure while you are around even though you and he aren't exclusively committed... but, once he realizes that you may leave and he may never see you again, he begins to come up with remarks that you find strange and out of character.


But, even though it may seem to you that he has a new found interest in you, usually it manifests itself within him negatively - you are moving on with your life. You are moving on without him. That, I would suspect, bothers him more than the fact that you are entertaining the thought of moving to Europe.


tg

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 8:10pm
My guess is that he likes you being available to him. He doesn't want to commit to anything - but if you move to Europe you will be "off again" for a very long time. Even though he doesn't want to get serious, it's easy to imagine that does enjoy the friendship and the occassional "on again" periods.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2004
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 7:37pm
I see what you're saying. This is definitely a first for me.