Is it me ???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Is it me ???
2
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 11:09am
I just recently ended a pretty bad relationship. It lasted longer than it should have, we were on & off for 10 years. He suffered from depression, he uses drugs & alcohol and gambles. I guess I just always went back to him because I was either lonely or I always tried to "help" him get better. Anyways, I've just met a really nice guy and I'm basically terrified to get to know him. I'm so used to being treated a certain way ( really bad ) I don't know how to react to this guy. I told him I need to take things slow and he understood, but I don;t want to push him away. I don't know how to let people treat me nice. I hate my ex even more now because he made me this way. Any advice?????
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
In reply to: ifriend1976
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 3:31am
You seem to be experiencing the syndrome of abuse. It's a set of characteristic that are present in people who suffred abuse. Have you gone to counseling to address the issues you have? You stayed with this man on and off for 10 years and that's a long time. You have patterns that will interfiere with normal relationships. as you had a dysfunctional one for a long time. It's in you to change the patterns you have and to replace them with healthy ones.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: ifriend1976
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 3:01pm

Your fears are understandable. Perhaps therapy would be a useful tool to help you deal with all the trauma you've had to deal with.

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