Is it me or is it him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Is it me or is it him?
5
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 11:26pm
There is this man who has a child in the childcare facility that I work at. The child is only one years old and stays with me everyday. About 3 months ago the child's father pulls me into his arms asks me out on a date. I turned him down for three reasons: the fact that he is a client, I was not ready for another relationship at the time, and I did not know him too well meaning I never knew how is was going to act from one day to the next. We talked one afternoon when I had a day off about these reasons especially the last one. He says that he was moody because he just got finished with a custody battle for his child from the child's mother whom he was never married to. Then he goes on to say that the date was a thank you dinner for taking care of his son, and he would like to be just friends. However, we still flirted often with each other, and he had kissed me twice. Within the last 2 weeks the flirting went from friendly to more serious, so I am thinking maybe he is going to ask again. At this point I would be completely open to that possibility especially since his child will soon be moving to another room and age group. He would still be a client of my boss but would not be directly in professional contact with me. Today, however, I find out that he has a woman moving in his house with him to be the child's nanny. I have nothing against the idea of having a nanny, but she is the same age as me, she talks about him in a personal manner, and from now on all things about his son are to be directed to her. I may be completely wrong, but I am getting the feeling that this nanny is more than a nanny.

What am I to do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 2:09am
it's him.

date other people and write this one off.

it's just too weird.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 11:37am
You're not to "do" anything.

He didn't want to date you - he wanted to sleep wtih you. That is why all the flirtation and kissing WITHOUT taking you out. YOu taught him that is what you were worth - by engaging in that behavior.

he's made it apparent he wants to have someone else care for his son - daycare, a nanny - someone.

He's mde it clear that he likes female attention and affection - but not necessarily "in" a relationship. He pursued that type of attention/affection with you - but NOT dating and a relationship.

He's likely pursuing that with her, as well....and she might easily assume that it will "lead to something" but it likely will not in terms of a relationship.

So, when the child leaves your care - he'll be out of your hair...and that is how you want it, really -it is.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 5:39pm

Don't do anything. If he 's interested in dating you, he will ask you out.

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 10:50pm
Thanks for your responses. I agree on the fact that he should do the asking. Call me old fashioned but that is the way I want it. Where I did encourage him on the flirting somewhat, I need to clarify that I did not encourage the kissing and told him so. Since then he has allowed me to set the pace on what to do. Today, he called me (without knowing my doubts)and explained that things were not as the nanny made it seem. His reason for doing this I am unsure of, but he made it clear ecactly what her purpose was for. I guess I will wait and see what happens next before I make any decisions. I like him a lot, and I love his son; I just do not want to do anything drive him away or hurt him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 9:02am

I would listen to my gut and find out more information about the "nanny" before taking your flirtation to the next level.


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