Is it meant to be?
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| Sun, 05-28-2006 - 1:56pm |
I am in a situation that really made me confused. I am a thinker so I always think about everything and analyze it and of course, come up with the worst conclusions. Thats what I really dont like about myself ... Anyway, I was in a long term relationship, we broke up and I went through many dates. Finally, I met a guy that I honestly think is Mr.Right for me. He is the cutest and sweetest guy I ever met. Since we met, were together almost every day, talking on the phone, .... He moved here from NJ, lives with his three cousins and does not have cell phone which is a problem. They have only a house phone with no long distance so he cannot call me. I am the only person calling and it makes me feel really like I bother him. SOmetimes, he can use his cousins phone so calls me but that is not that often. Anyway, he slept over on Friday and we had a really nice time. We were talking and I know he likes me since he kept holding me, kissing me and when he was leaving, he did not want to go. The problem is, he is going to school 2 hours from the city and will be there on Campus. I talked to him about this and all he was saying that he will think about it, that he didnt have any plans with meeting someone, ... anyway, his classes start in a week and he is leaving on friday. I told him to look at other schools that I would even help him .... You know, i tried to convince him to stay here. So it is Sunday, he has not called me so he probably went down there to check in into his apartment as he said. Now, I am really confused cuz I am not good in the dating scene. I really like him and dont want to loose him. He promised we will be together every weekend. Now my questions are, what do guys think when a girl keeps calling? What about the situation he does not have a phone? Does it make him less interested? How much space guys need? Does it have future if he is in another city? How should I approach the all situation? All I do is thinking and about to cry that I will loose him. Is it that bad I wanna be with him every day?
I know it is long but I will appreciate any feedback and advice. Thanks

Sweetie, don't cry over something that hasn't happened yet. Wait till he gets the place and gets registered for classes. Long distance relationships work if both parties work together and don't freak out when hes/he doesn't call. If you're the type of girl who freaks out and thinks that "he may be cheating, or is hanging out too much with so and so girl" then you're relationship will be clouded by your jealousy and insecurities. Your BF will end up tired of hearing the same question "Are we OK, do you still love me, are still into it?, etc". That promise of being together every weekend is a tad too much in my opinion. If this guy is studying and will make friends and such how can he make the trip every weekend to see you? He'll have work and research to do or he may feel like hanging out with his friends there. That is something that you should understand. You can go visit him as well, on weekends when he's free for you. Being aware and considerate of the other's needs is very important. He has no cell so that is a problem for you, because he cannot call you at the drop of a hat. He may call you if he can. If you call him often, like every day and night, you both will end up with no other things to talk about but "hi, how are you, I miss you..". Give him time to miss your calls. His life has more to it than you. He may be thinking about school and his move./ He may feel scared or concerned as well. Talk about it with him.
Anyhow, there is a LDR on ivillage. Go there and post your concerns. They'll be able to help you and support you on this journey.
Thank you. I know all about you said. I know the problem is in my cuz I think too much. I dont want to keep calling him like that but I cannot help myself. I was in a relationship for past 5 years and I really dont know how to act. I am a very jealous person but what can I do? What should I do to change my behaviour? I really care about this guy.
Also, what is LDR you mentioned?