Is it obvious that he doesn't love me

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2013
Is it obvious that he doesn't love me
8
Wed, 10-02-2013 - 8:25pm

<p>I have been sleeping with this guy named Mark for about 2 years. &nbsp;I'm in love with him, yet he's done some pretty cruel things to embarrass me and degrade me. &nbsp;After having 'intercourse', he has thrown tissues at me, rolled to the other side of the bed refusing to talk to me. &nbsp;If I go to the bathroom after having 'intercourse', I find him sprawled out across the bed (trying to get me to leave his apartment). &nbsp;The other night, he texted me at 3:00 in the morning, saying something random. &nbsp;When I responded to his text message.. my phone informed me that, he quickly blocked my phone number. &nbsp;He was probally with a bunch of friends and thought it would be a funny prank. &nbsp;The twisted part is that I am crazy about this person, I care about his well being. &nbsp;I think about him all of the time.. I don't understand. &nbsp;I recently told him I loved him, and he still treats me like absolute crap.&nbsp;</p>

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2013
Wed, 10-02-2013 - 8:26pm

Would someone really sleep with someone for 2 years, if they didn't even like them a little bit?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 10-02-2013 - 11:02pm

Some people, men especially (but of course not all men) can easily separate sex and love.  Right now you're in a situation where this guy is thinking that no matter how badly he treats you, you still keep coming back for more, so he gets to have sex and basically can get away with giving you no affection in return.  Stop being a doormat.

Avatar for StephanieOC
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2013
Thu, 10-03-2013 - 10:02am
He sounds very immature. He will continue to treat you like crap if you keep coming back. I would suggest moving on. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Thu, 10-03-2013 - 11:13am

Two years!  Move on, don't waste anymore time on this guy (unless you just want to be treated as an easy laid).

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Thu, 10-03-2013 - 11:21am

The far more important question to ask is why would you be in love with someone who treats you like crap for two years? I see this so often on these boards: a woman who is so focused on the man and his needs that she doesn't even think about what she needs and deserves. Really, what are you getting out of this except longing, suffering, embarressment and drama?

I know it's tempting to try to "love" someone into changing and loving you back, but it just doesn't work that way. No one can walk on you if you aren't already lying on the floor.

And no, he doesn't love you. I don't mean to sound harsh, but it's up to you to stand up for yourself and expect--and require-- only the best treatment from men. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Thu, 10-03-2013 - 11:34am

I'm sorry that you are in love with someone like this...I was in the same position.He is treating you like crap and as long as you allow it...he will keep doing it.He thinks it's a game to treat you like this BUT believe me when I say this that he WILL get what is coming to him in the end so with that said...I know it will be VERY hard for you to do...BUT you need to not have any contact with him anymore! YOu are only torturing yourself being around this creep. He WILL get what is coming to him but you will not be around to reap the rewards...by then you will have moved on and found someone who treats you with respect and love that you deserve to have. You will go through SO much hurt and paid BUT it will subside after time..it might take awhile BUT it will happen.Also a tip is to just get rid of your FB so that way you will not feel compelled to check up on him and see what he's up to..OR even worse to find out that he is in a relationship...YOU need to take care of your well-being because if you don't...this person might end up destroying what little self-esteem you do have...Please take care of yourself..ok?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Thu, 10-03-2013 - 11:36am
..also is this a fwb thing?? You stated that you've been sleeping with this guy for about 2yrs...you don't refer to him as a boyfriend so I"m assuming that he's a fwb thing?Been there done that...don't do it anymore and don't contact him..period.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2013
Mon, 10-07-2013 - 10:06am
You need to break all ties with this guy. This is an abusive relationship. You should also look at why you are allowing him to treat you like this so that you don't leave this relationship and end up in a similar one again. Find something that treats you with the love and respect that you deserve :-)