Is it ok to ask a guy to see him more?
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Is it ok to ask a guy to see him more?
| Fri, 10-13-2006 - 3:21pm |
Hi everyone,
I start dating a guy about a month ago we have seen eachother 3 times. He said he really likes me and he interested to discover me more, we talk on the phone almost every second day, about hour two hours. He mentioned while we were talking about some topic and said if we see eachother every two weeks. I am the person I like to date only one person at the time to get to know him well, if it works fine if doesn't I jamp to another person. So as a reasone I like to see him once a week and....Is it ok to ask him if we can see eachother more? And how do I do that?
Thank you.
I start dating a guy about a month ago we have seen eachother 3 times. He said he really likes me and he interested to discover me more, we talk on the phone almost every second day, about hour two hours. He mentioned while we were talking about some topic and said if we see eachother every two weeks. I am the person I like to date only one person at the time to get to know him well, if it works fine if doesn't I jamp to another person. So as a reasone I like to see him once a week and....Is it ok to ask him if we can see eachother more? And how do I do that?
Thank you.

What reason does he give for seeing you so infrequently?
I mean, if he has time to talk to you on the phone for 2 hours, he has time to see you!
Sheri
Hi Sheri,
I did never ask to see me more and we haven't talk about it. He is studing I know he is a busy guy but like you said we talked about two hours almost everysecond day and I don't see he didn't have time to see me more. He said that he is falling in love with me and I haven't heard from him for three days now. He e-mailed me two days ago unfotunatelly I was busy with my studies I didn't e-mailed him back until this morning. I called last night to say hi and left message, I haven't heard from him at all.
I do not know what is my next step will be? I think I am going to wait and see what will happen.
Let's get real for a moment about a fact that has direct influence on your budding relationship. You both have a life priority (education) that is greater than building on your relationship. You both are (and need to) invest time and energy on your studies and this takes priority on your respective schedules.
To work with this you both need to be proactive in sharing your schedules. I would suggest you ask him to review his 2-week schedule with you and vice versa. With that kind of sharing you will both be able to see common free and available time. From there, you can then both set aside time to see each other. What you shouldn't expect though is for him to dedicate all of his free time to you or vice versa.
Share your calendars and schedules and I fully believe you can grow your relationship.
Thank you for your great advice I am going to try that I think it sounds great.
I will let you know what happens:-)
Thanks again.
Soul1368.
Hi Sheri,
I was just browsing the past conversations I wasn't arround for a while, and I found so many infos and specialy it touched me what you adviced to someone there."You wait two months to be intimate with the guy you dated". My question for you would be I always waited for over three months or until I feel fully comfortable and 2months means equvalent to how many dates?
I am very curious and learning if I am doing anything wrong when I date a guy:-)
Thank you inadvance Sheri
Rube.
Hi, sorry for the delay in responding to you, I've been out of town since last Saturday.
So, have you heard from this guy again, or not? BTW, I would say that him saying he's "falling in love" with you after only 3 dates is a HUGE red flag!
As far as how many dates I generally have in 2 months or so, I'd say it's generally 1-2 dates a week, so probably 10-15 dates total. But if you feel waiting longer is right for you, then that's what you should do!
Sheri
Hello Sheri,
Yes I have heard from him after I writed you this message. We are seen eachother one or twice a week. I had a talk with him about seen eachother one or twice a week and he agreed. Falling in love after 3 dates .....is I don't know if I am phrasing it correctly ...this is how he said it we were talking about he is becoming a psychologist..he is at the university studing. He is very sensitive to ward realationship and last realationship ended bad. That lady left him because of he is very sensitive he cares extremely about people and with a people around him so I am like that to so that left him hurt. I did understand and I value that I am very sensitive to. So he told me I touched his heart by understanding him and he felt he is falling in love.
I am very carefull and watching him what he say and so far I found him very caring approchable and understanding fun to be with. We are getting along really well. And I told him I am not going to be ready to be intimate with a man until I get to know him really well and took it easy he said don't worry I will wait as long as it takes.
Yesterday his mother was coming to town so he want me to meet her but it wasn't good timing for me. So that is a good sign I think.
Sheri please let me know if you want to give me some advice I will be happy to hear from you.
Thanks.
Rube
Well, it sounds like it's going well--glad to hear it!
But even with your explanation, I would still be very leery of someone who said he was falling in love with you after only 3 dates. So just keep that in the back of your mind as you're going forward. It may turn out to be nothing or it may be an indication that he doesn't have a realistic view of love.
Sheri
Thank you Sheri for your advice It is true that some man do that I got hurt before and I am very careful at this relationship. I am glad you mention that though, it is eye and mind opener. I will keep in touch.
I truely appriciated your advice.
Rube.
yes, if someone wants to do something he will do it.