Is it okay to date more than one person?
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Is it okay to date more than one person?
| Sun, 05-07-2006 - 9:41am |
Hello, I just wanted to hear how people felt about dating someone who also dates other people. My story is that I met this guy and we hanged out twice and I asked him if he dates other people. He told me he does. I feel as though if he did what he did to me on my dates then he probably does the same thing with other women. I know what I should do because this is a very risky situation to be in. Even if your not having intercourse with somone, you can still catch herpes through kissing.
I know that we are not in a committed relationship so he does have the right to see other people, we've only dated twice now. I love to hear what people have to say about this. I know what really matters is how I feel.
Thank you!
I know that we are not in a committed relationship so he does have the right to see other people, we've only dated twice now. I love to hear what people have to say about this. I know what really matters is how I feel.
Thank you!

angiecheeks...
A few thoughts from Pianoguy:
First...when there's no exclusivity involved...you can date an entire baseball team! Of course, you run the risk of getting VD, Herpes or some unexplainable ailment that a doctor or a gynecologist will happily diagnose for the price of an office visit!
Second...when a woman (or man) dates more than one person, "comparing stuff" about each usually comes into play. And frankly...this STINKS! Each of us has a personality, a body, a soul and a spirit. Granted...some of these might be more than a little flawed, but they're 'unique' to each of us! So when you 'comparison shop'---you might inadvertently overlook the "special qualities" in favor of the ones most people look for in another person?
Third...if you put yourself in "a risky situation" (your term)...can you handle the consequences if they turn out to be BAD? I'm not just referencing the possible physical mishaps, but the potential for an emotional heartbreak too?
Those are my 3...but I'm sure many other ivillagers can add to my list?
Pianoguy
I think it is a personal choice. Mine is different. I am very clear that I am only looking for friends right now to chat with, do things with, and have fun in a platonic way. They are also aware that if one of those friendships move into dating then it is a different story. I do believe in commitment and monogamous relationships even though living together and marriage isn't a factor, and it is possible that nothing permanent will happen.
It isn't just a matter of sexual diseases, but being able to fully explore each other to determine if it is right. It's not just the emotional problems which can occur, but it is also showing respect for the other. I don't think I could display my respect for a man and what our relationship could mean in any other greater way, then being just with him until we determine otherwise.
Cheryl
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