Is it the right move?
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| Mon, 11-13-2006 - 2:17pm |
As you all know from previous posts, I have some issues with this guy. I did ask to be exclusive his answer was he is not ready because he haven't finished with his ex who lives 5 hrs from the city we are live in. And he said to me he is finished with her but she didn't. And I said and see what happens. Well that is not true she is here for a weekend he called and said she is coming and they can talk face to face. That didn't convinced me and I mention to him she is going to stay in your house and he said yes. He said he is going to call me Sunday or Monday I haven't heard until now. Right there hit me something really going on I am deciding to end it now.
I am not going to call or see him but shut him off. I have few articles his with me and I am going to drop them off at his door with out seen his face. That is my plan.
Is it the right thing to do shutting him off?Can I leave his stuff at his door? What do I do if he calls?
Any advice please?

Yes, it sounds to me like you're making the right decision to end things. I know you're not exclusive with him so he's not doing anything "wrong" per se, but that wouldn't sit well with me.
I personally would let him know that this isn't working for you with a phone call or email but that's a decision you need to make.
As far as his stuff, honestly, unless it's really valuable, then I would just toss it or hold it for a while to see if he asks for the stuff back rather than troubling yourself to return it.
Sheri
You might want to include a little note with his stuff stating that you enjoyed knowing him but, for you, it is time to move on. Tell him please don't call or write.
If he calls then tell him that you wish to end things and to please stop all communication. There is no need to get into details or an argument.
Thank you Sheri for the advice,
Youo made me realize I wasn't exclusive because I have been acting like exclusive. He have a right to do anything he wants while I am spending my time? Is it ok though It is not ok for me sleeping with his ex and comes to me kiss me is it normal?
He is a nice guy I hate to lose him with out knowing what he is thinking, and I do not want to give him an impresion that I am not completely interested. I am interested in him and if he make up his mind I can date him.
How do I let him know that I am interested and I am here someday if I am free with out shutting the door completely?
Thanks.
Rube.
What's "ok" is what YOU are comfortable with. Personally, I'm not really comfortable sleeping with someone who is dating or sleeping with other people, so I establish exclusivity and monogamy BEFORE we sleep together. You didn't do that, and when you did ask him after the fact, he said no...which is his perogative, but you don't have to go along with it if you don't want to!!! You get to choose.
I would just let him know that you're not comfortable being in a non-exclusive relationship with him and tell him that if he ever gets to the point where he's interested in dating you exclusively, you'll look forward to hearing from him. Although, the complicating factor is that you really haven't dated long enough (IMO) for either of you to know each other well enough to be exclusive--so he may well say that. If so, then you need to make clear that you won't be having sex with him until you have spent more time together and he knows he wants to be exclusive with you.
Sheri
Thanks again for a great advice.
I will do that see what happens and let yoou know what happen.
Thanks again.
Rube.