Is it time to move on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Is it time to move on?
4
Sun, 12-05-2004 - 6:50am
We have been together since my son was 2 years old and now he is 7. We have 2 kids together and have been living together for quite some time. The emotional abuse and verbal abuse is more than I can take. He says that it's not abuse that I am just crazy and need medication, and need to change my way of thinking. I want to leave him but am scared. It seems lately all we do is is argue, fuss and fight. Is it time to move on?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sun, 12-05-2004 - 10:35am
Why are you even doubting yourself? If you feel it's abusive, then move on without any hesitation...

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-05-2004 - 2:47pm

kpackett...

The big question is..."can you and the two children 'survive' without the presence of MR. ABUSIVE?" You didn't indicate who was working and whether either one of you had made arrangements in the event of a breakup.

Perhaps some free legal advice is the first step you should take? Nobody (woman or man) should be subjected to an abusive partner, but if you're REALLY SERIOUS about making a break in your relationship...you've got to formulate and activate a solid plan.

Aside from the responsibilities of supporting yourself, there are also 2 children involved...and they're counting on you to keep their lives stable!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Sun, 12-05-2004 - 3:12pm
If this really is an abusive relationship, then you are doing your children no favor by remaining in it, and subjecting them to abuse even indirectly. Rally your family and friends, talk to those who are closest to you about how you can make a clean break. Find a method to support yourself. Find a councilor to help you navigate your options - maybe a free hotline? Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 4:13pm
Take it from a guy who stayed in the relationship for 9.5 years before realizing that because we (xw-n-me) had a child didn't mean we had to get married. I made the choice to leave for the right reasons; it wasn't fair to her or me to be there if the proper level of love wasn't there. Don't stay for the kids of the financial blanket of security. Make a decision,; however, a plan IS necessary.
Be strong for yourself and the kids. Our relationship didn't have the abusiveness you say yours has, but that didn't matter.