Is it too early to be fighting?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Is it too early to be fighting?
4
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 3:07pm
I've been dating a guy for a little over a month now and this past week has been brutal. we've been in 2-3 fights just this week alone. Everything was great the first couple of weeks, but now I feel like this relationship is doomed? Or could it be just a phase? The things we fight about aren't that serious either but he gets so upset at little things, like the fact that I don't call him that often or that I don't want to see him everyday. What is going on? Please help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 2:11pm

janet13579..

It's just PG's opinion....but the "honeymoon" between you and your b/f is definitely over!

More than likely, some of the man's "true colors" (quoting Cindi Lauper's tune) are starting to emerge.....and perhaps 'picking a fight over nothing' is one of them?

Would you be willing to risk TOTAL NON-COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR B/F for a week or two? When (and if) he decides to 'touch base' with you and ask: "where have you been"....you can respond with: "I've given up VERBAL SPARRING and that's THE ONLY THING THE 2 OF US WERE DOING WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER!"

Then wait for his response.......which may or may not be....err...."pretty!"

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 2:41pm

This guy might enjoy confrontation. Yes, it is too early and this one might have much bigger problems that aren't worth it.

Walk away now unless you enjoy verbal (or more) abuse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 9:26pm

Well he sounds very insecure but you've only been dating a month - he sounds a bit possessive -wanting to see you everyday.


This is something to be wary of, fighting so often is not the best sign.

,
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Wed, 09-14-2005 - 3:38am

Fights over little things do happen sometimes. Afterall no one is perfect and totally reasonable and mature all of the times. Our insecurities and moods do crop up. It's not uncommon I think. What matters is how you resolve them. And I think relationships do become smoother with time with more understanding and trust. You both are new to each other. You both have different styles, different personalities. Do fights lead to better understanding? That is what you have to answer.

Figure out what exactly you want. And then Talk to him. Directly. Clearly. Tell him to trust you. Be positive in your words for the relationship so he doesn't feel you are bailing out. This is the time to set the tone of the relationship and Tell him what you feel happy with. If he gets you, fine, if he never does, then too bad he has to go. But to see if he actually gets you, you have to give it some time. Don't jump to a hasty conclusion and walk out just yet. Patience pays.

First thing I always look at is how the guy is treating me. If he isnt treating me with respect, then nothing is worth. And yes, do watch out for the possessiveness. U dont want your man to be of a controlling nature. That's a red flag.