Is it too fast?
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Is it too fast?
| Wed, 03-24-2004 - 6:16pm |
3 months ago, me and my bf of 2 years broke up. We still get along wonderfully like best friends. We still live together as roomates, partially because it is too hard to break our lease. I don't have enough money to afford my own place comfortably. My ex does want me to date.
A few days ago I met this guy at the local bar where I hang out all the time. We hit it off on the first night. He's sweet, caring and passionate. I agreed to a first date the next night and again we hit it off to the point where he said he wanted to be my boyfreind and not date anyone else. I'm thinking to myself this guy is wonderful and completely wanting me. Not only that, he is so attractive he could model for a living but he has a great job and prolly making 10 times more than I make. Last night (offical Date 2)He asked me if I had a roomate I said no. We have gone out in 3 times in the last 3 days and I feel like I am falling for him waaay too fast. We haven't done anything like sex or staying over, but I am tempted to.
I feel like I am not in his league and that he is moving too fast for me, he thinks of our relationship as love at first sight and to a point I do too. I want to tell him the truth but I feel like he'll break it off. I really have no feeling to my ex/roomate except a platonic friendship. I want this relationship with this new guy but it is way too fast.
A few days ago I met this guy at the local bar where I hang out all the time. We hit it off on the first night. He's sweet, caring and passionate. I agreed to a first date the next night and again we hit it off to the point where he said he wanted to be my boyfreind and not date anyone else. I'm thinking to myself this guy is wonderful and completely wanting me. Not only that, he is so attractive he could model for a living but he has a great job and prolly making 10 times more than I make. Last night (offical Date 2)He asked me if I had a roomate I said no. We have gone out in 3 times in the last 3 days and I feel like I am falling for him waaay too fast. We haven't done anything like sex or staying over, but I am tempted to.
I feel like I am not in his league and that he is moving too fast for me, he thinks of our relationship as love at first sight and to a point I do too. I want to tell him the truth but I feel like he'll break it off. I really have no feeling to my ex/roomate except a platonic friendship. I want this relationship with this new guy but it is way too fast.

There are so many things wrong with this picture, where to begin? I'll start with you still living with your ex. Move out, ASAP. If you can't afford a place on your own, then find a roommate or a room in a shared house. I did that in my early 20s and it is quite affordable. Why did you lie to the new guy about the roommate? Wouldn't it be a lot simpler just to move out so you wouldn't have to explain that you're living with your ex?
The new guy. First, I would NEVER agree to exclusivity with someone after just one date. You don't know him. Take your time. Same with having sex with him. It sounds like the only reason you want to rush to bed is b/c you feel out of his league. Well, that's a problem all on its own. If you feel like someone is out of your league or better than you - why would you want to date him? Don't you want to date an equal? And if you feel like others are out of your league, maybe you have some self-esteem issues?
Oh, and three dates in three days is a lot. What's the rush? Take your time getting to know him. If you continue at this pace, I wouldn't be surprised if you sleep with him on the next date and then never hear from him again.