is it too soon to start a new date?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2004
is it too soon to start a new date?
6
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 3:56pm
I just broke off with my boyfriend days ago. It's not what I really want to do but it's best for both of us.

My friend called me yesterday asking me to see this guy she's been wanting to introduce for many months now. I agreed to go but now I'm having second thoughts with no positive reason except to wollow on previous relationship. My friend said he's a nice guy.

Is it too soon to date a new one this weekend?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 3:59pm
Yes, unless your relationship with your bf was a short casual fling (but it doesn't sound like that's the case). If it was at all serious and lasted longer than a month or so, meeting this guy now will be a waste of time, because you are in no place to appreciate someone new.

Take the time to mourn first then meet this guy. If it's meant to be, he'll still be available when you're ready.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2004
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 8:15pm
Gotta agree on that. I just recently escaped a very long relationship and tried to do the dating thing and it's just not time yet. Besides that, the men I'm running into are in a hurry for sex and that really has to wait. If this guy is cool enough to meet, then maybe even just call him and let him know that you just aren't ready to date anyone yet. That way he doesn't have to feel like he's waiting for you to come around and you don't have to rush yourself into something you're not ready for.

good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2004
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 10:44pm
I'd been seing my ex for 3 months. It's full of drama, jealousy, mindgames, and lies. My cousin thinks is a very unique and dangerous relationship. The only reason I stayed around that long is because I love him inspite of all the negative feedback from many. Letting him go is the best thing to do because the relationship is turning violent.

The other guy waited almost 6 months since the first attempt to meet me and he's still very much interested. Everyone I know said to see him, you have nothing to loose. I know this one to be good and I do appreciate him waiting all this time. I don't want to continue turning him down specially since he patiently waited all this time.

No matter how much I love my ex, going back is not an option. Moving forward is a must.

Is is too bad to go out with the new guy just to meet, enjoy the time, no attachment? He can be a friend. It will give me time to heal and have someone to talk to. I think that as long as I focus on him being a friend, I'll be alright.

Is this still thumbs down?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2004
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 10:49pm
My relationship with ex is LDR and once a month visit with few phone calls and few emails. He does tend to dissapear on weekends. I'm supposed to be exclusive to him but he's not with me. That and many other things as part of the drama.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2004
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 12:43am
As long as both of you can agree to just be comfortable with being friends, I can't see why you can't hang out. But I'd make sure he's perfectly clear about what is going on. It's not like we here can tell you what to do and MAKE YOU DO IT. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2004
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 1:03am
Thank you!