It was perfect, a dream but now.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
It was perfect, a dream but now.......
14
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 5:23pm
I met this guy about 6 months ago and he asked me out. We went on a date which went quite well but nothing happened apart from a hug at the end. (i also later found out he was planning beforehand to reschedule the date but couldnt as it I didnt get his message til it was too late - i dont know if this is significant). He didnt call when he said he would and i ended up contacting him - eventually we began flirting over text and arranged two futher dates, one being at his house and the other just going out somewhere. He later denied making one of these arrangments to which i asked if he was messing me around. He said no but we had an argument as to whether i trusted him. Eventually he came round and i did end up going to his, we had an amazing evening and went to bed. From then on there was no looking back, it was perfect. He said I meant so much to him and we had something really special. Problem was he was due to go travelling for months about a week beofre all this happened. We decided to stay together and had big plans for his return. For two and a half months he was in contact from abroad and he said he couldnt wait to see me etc and thought we had something amazing and even that he loved me. He promised never to hurt me and said he would never dream of leaving me while away. Now 2 weeks beofre he's due back he sent me a text saying he just doesnt feel same anymore. I haven't replied and he has since text me again asking if i'm ok and did i get his message. I'm confused as to why so soon before he comes back? Why by text? Should i reply and if so what? I have to see him to work with him when he comes back - what do i do? should i quit my job? I want him back and am hoping feelings will just come flooding back when we see each other but dont know what to do to improve my chances. Surely feelings fade over time he should've reliased that and not made promises. Please help.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 3:00pm

Mssylence,


Doubleblade IS a woman (smile).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 4:33am

Greetings blondey,

I totally commend your strong resolve to not respond so swiftly to your complex
fellows text messages.Let him think that he's not the center of your universe.Perhaps
giving him a bit of his own medicine will make him realize he's lost real love
connection in you. As for my dashing maitre di P,he seems to be totally overwhelmed
with this new restaurant job,with only a day off,ends usual days after11 pm.I'm
only having dates via phonecalls,and verbal romantic chitchat. He keeps telling
me how much he misses me,imagines our next gettogether in that dinner will be
cooked by him(he's a gourmet cook),and of course my response is yes,and
don't forget to wear your kiss the cook apron! However,these good intentions take much planning.Said Thanksgiving week should get a day extra off(I'll see)and this homecooked meal should take place. He's working on Thanksgiving,promises to come late for dessert(I'm not getting my hopes up too high). All I can say luv,is if your fellow has really lost his loving feelings,don't be sad,tis far better to find out now. Perhaps by you being aloof,he'll reflect on what he's letting go .If not then he truly isn't ready for a serious relationship. Time will tell,as you say,I too believe in destiny and if its meant to be,love will exist. Otherwise keep busy with work,hobbies,friends a good support system,loved ones,etc.. Best wishes,your British galpal,Bellina Fair,cheers!

T

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Sat, 11-20-2004 - 4:31pm

Honestly I think he met someone and wanted to hook up so he dumped you through text so he could have his fling. It didn't work out and he probably figured he could come home say a few I'm sorry's and I made a big mistake and you'd be more than willing to take him back without any questions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Sat, 11-20-2004 - 7:08pm
I guess I don't see what was ever so perfect here. You went on a date, then he didn't bother to call you until you pursued him. You and he made plans, then he lied and denied it. You had one amazing evening and jumped into bed together, and that day was perfect. You don't sound like you ever spent much time in person together, most of the "relationship" was over instant messaging from a distance. It's easy under those circumstances to read things into a situation that aren't really there. That's what it sounds like he might have done. Now that he's faced with the reality that he's coming back and has to face you in person, he doesn't want to live up to the things he said and didn't really mean. He obviously at least likes you enough to see you if he doesn't have anything better to do (like he probably did when he denied the dates he had arranged or forgot to call when he said he would), but he doesn't sound like he's really worth your time if you want a serious relationship.

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