Is it worth it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Is it worth it?
3
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 12:19pm

Hi all!


I need some advice. I’ve met this guy about a month ago who has been great so far. He’s fun, intelligent, and considerate. We always enjoy each others’ company when we spend time together. While I do like him, I’m not yet at a point where I can say that he’s the only man I want to date. I’ve learned in the past that it isn’t wise to put all your eggs in one basket too early on, and I’ve only known him for a month. He told me that he really likes me, and that while he wants to take his time, he is not interested in dating anyone else but me right now. I was flattered, but also concerned because I don’t feel the same way. I didn’t really have a response…I certainly didn’t say that I felt the same way because I don’t.


Also, to add to that, I’m celibate, and I’ve told him this. There hasn’t been any physical intimacy between us beyond kissing. But, the kisses are becoming more ‘aggressive’, initiated by him. I know that I won’t go farther than kissing, because I don’t want to be tempted to compromise my standards. When I told him that I’m celibate, his response was that he thinks that that’ll change the longer I know him, but that he respects that. I didn’t reply right away, but now I wonder. Will he try to persuade me to change my beliefs about celibacy? I don’t want to date someone who I’ve told off the bat that I’m celibate, and he’s constantly trying to change that. I also told him that I understand if this is something that he cannot understand and chooses not to continue to get to know me.


Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mali2579
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 1:32pm

He thinks it'll change - so he thinks that you don't know what you're talking about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: mali2579
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 6:40pm

Is your desire to be celibate until marriage? or until you decide which guy you would like to date steadily?


If you wish to be celibate until marriage then this guy is not for you because he now sees your celibacy as a challenge instead of a principle that you live by.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
In reply to: mali2579
Wed, 10-10-2007 - 2:48pm

Simply because of the way he responded, that he thinks that'll change the longer you get to know *him* indicates to me that you are now a fun little challenge for him, something to conquer.

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