is it worth it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2004
is it worth it?
2
Sat, 11-20-2004 - 11:13am
I am 21 years old and have been recently single since June. A few weeks ago my best friend set me up with her boyfriends friend. We hit it off right away. He is a few years older than I am and is out of school, but we got along great. We both seemed to sense the connection and want to see where things could lead. The problem is he lives in another state...actually four states away! He works for an airline company and so he can fly up to visit for free and pretty much every weekend if needed. He would only have two days to visit though. We have been talking on the phone and getting to know eachother-but I am worried that the distance will be too great of an obstacle to ever have a real relationship! I am already falling for this guy through our conversations but dont want to get my heart broken if we get serious and have to be away from eachother all the time-is it worth the risk of continuing to get involved? Can long distance relationships really last? Is it even possible? Please help!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Sat, 11-20-2004 - 12:22pm
Hon, LDR can work but only if both parties work toward it. It appears that you're making a fantasy out of this guy through phone conversations. Don't make up a "man" out of what he's told you, get to know him in person. If he can visit fine, meet and get to know the him in different settings and if you can visit then get to know him in HIS setting. Be suer he feels the same before getting more emotionally involved than what you're now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2004
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 12:42am

Hi, jellybeangurly.

I am in a very similar situation. I meet this guy almost 3 months ago and he might be leaving soon. In this case, I am ready to give us a try even though we might be apart. But I have yet to ask him that since I sense his hesitation or maybe he does not feel the same way about me. I have also held back from getting too emotionally attached to him. I also worry that the long distance in the very beginning will hinder a relationship. I am skeptical as well whether a long distance relationship will last. I feel your pain and concern.

Well, it seems that you have only met him a few weeks ago. I would hang in there at least for another month or two. Take it easy and just enjoy the moment. Think of it as a very nice acquintance and don't rush anything. If he starts to sound serious, then the two of you can talk about him visiting you on weekends and stuff. If you end up deciding to break it off, don't be so hard on yourself. You are so young. It will just be one of your life experiences. You will likely go through other heartbreaks and have plenty of chances meet other guys out there.