Is it worth it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Is it worth it?
4
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 3:50pm
My boyfriend & I love each other very much, but my family doesn't want me to be with him. My sister became infuriated with him when she found out he exposed me to the risk of pregnancy. She never told my parents, but she did tell them that he "is not a good person" & "did something terrible to me". They are trying to get her to tell them what he did, but she knows it will kill them. They took a hint from her & now they abhor him. Now my whole family dislikes him and my mother told me that she will never accept him & will make my life a living hell if I continue to see him. My father won't let us be alone together if we are at my house, and I have to keep him away from my sister completely as to avoid an enraged brawl. My boyfriend wised up & we stopped having unprotected sex. He is willing to endure the abuse of my family if it means he can still be with me, but I don't know how much more I can take. I have always been very close with my family & don't want to lose their affection over one boy, but I love him so much. Should I keep going w/ the relationship until the anger blows over, or dump him & feel terrible? Please help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
In reply to: maggski
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 4:16pm
Find out what exactly the problems are. It is just unprotected sex? Can these problems be worked out? If you really love him, your family has to respect your decision. Let them know you will not tolerate any verbal abuse of your boyfriend. Tell them calmly you love him. Be firm in your statement. This is your decision to make.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: maggski
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 5:17pm
Only you really know if it is worth it. I am very close with my family but there is no reason they would know what kind of sex I am having...and no way I would allow their opinions to completely rule my life (consideration is definately given).

Unprotected sex is not something that is "done to you"...unless it is rape, you gave consent. Which means you are just as responsible as your partner. You tell him to be protected or the answer is no. In my opinion it is up to YOU to know what your family values are and decide whether you believe in them and accept them as your own. If you do not, then you have to be ready to deal with the difficulties and disapproval that will bring on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
In reply to: maggski
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 1:25pm
May I ask what age you are?
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
In reply to: maggski
Wed, 06-23-2004 - 2:48pm
HE isn't the only one responsible about the "pregnancy scare". If you both consented, you are both at fault. It was wrong of your sister to make that kind of statement. I"m thinking that you are both pretty young and your family may be seeing the two of you becoming to serious. What is it about this guy that your family does NOT like?