Is it worth the risk?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Is it worth the risk?
1
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 1:00pm
I'm not very confident about the way I look, and I know that's something I need to work on. I also have aniexty disorders (which just makes flirting and dating a great time). I'm actually in therapy trying to work it all out, which was a HUGE step for me because I didn't want to admit that I had a problem.

Becasue of these problems, I have a really hard time flirting for fear of rejection. I know that if I am rejected, it will never be as bad as I make it out to be in my head; however, I have a fear of being outgoing because I don't want to be shot down. I also have this fear that when I am shot down, the guy thinks I am stupid to have ever thought I had a chance with him.

Which brings me to a guy that I have a huge crush on. I am reluctant to do anything because of the above-mentioned fears. I have known him for about seven months, and I think he may like me, too. I only see him at the bar where he works. I kinda want to make some sort of gesture so that he knows I like him. My friends want me to give him my phone number, but if he doesn't call, I would feel awful about myself and not want to do anything like that again.

My question is: Is it worth the possible rejection, etc. to find out if he likes me?

Please help?



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 1:07pm
I think what you need to do is start flirting with guys more for fun, than for a possible date. You will have less fear of being rejected if your intention is just to be friendly and open and a little flirty than looking for a date, romance or relationship. Next time you're out, say something flirty to the guy standing next to you in line at the bar and when you get your drink walk away. You will have the satisfaction of the flirt, without the rejection factor.

With this guy that you like, you may need to just drop a quick flirt before you walk away so there's no time for a response. It may pique his interest if you do something like that and the next time you go to talk to him, he may be more open.

The biggest piece of advice I have is: You will never know unless you try, and the WORST he can say is "no thanks". Keep things in perspective.

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