Its not supposed to be this way

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Its not supposed to be this way
3
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 11:39am
Sorry the last one got deleted....Anyways....Ok here is the story, I dated this guy for about 4 years, we were high school sweethearts. Well we broke up cause we were only two young kids and things like that happen when your that age. well now we have been apart for almost two years. the whole time we have been apart we have remained friends. we have always wanted to be together but the timing just is never right. we both have done some things in the past that we are not pround of and will take a lot to work through, but i am willing to. the problem is, he now has a girlfriend that he has been dating for about 4 weeks and he claims that he is happy. i dont really think he is though, he doesnt know how i feel. my queston is what do i do? i love this man more then anything in this whole world and i would do anything for him. what do i do, do i tell him, do i let him have his other relationship...what do i do? i am so lost and so in love....help me please!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 5:50pm
Leave him be. You don't know if he's happy or not, you're not him. And I believe you're only saying he's not happy with this other woman because YOU don't want that to be true. It's not a matter of *letting* him have this other relationship, he's not your child that you can say "nope, can't do that" to.

You need to accept that things are over. You've been hanging on and hoping that he would go out with you again for the last two years, haven't you?

If it's truly a matter of timing and you are meant to be together, then if will. But you have to allow it to run it's course.

Good luck, I hope things work out for you.

Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 9:11pm

I agree with Alison... it's not your place to "let him" have another relationship.

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2004
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 11:50pm
While I agree with Jahalel, four weeks isn't very long in the dating world today. I wouldn't worry about it too much. If you have remained friends, I wonder if you ever mentioned how you felt about him during that time? Or if he ever expressed interest in you again? But I wouldn't bug him right now, as hard as that may be to do. And keep in mind, while everyone is trying to offer you their best advice, sometimes, strangers can seem pretty harsh to the situation. "Move on" seems to be the general consensus throughout this entire message board, no matter the issue. But you know this guy better than we do. I do think solid advice however, is to wait to tell him your feelings until he is single again. Just don't sit around waiting for that to happen. Be prepared, it might not happen at all. Get yourself out there and live your life. Moping around resolves nothing. And you are going to be a much more attractive person to him or anyone else if you keep your chin up!!

Good luck!!

Elle