Jealous ex, part II

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Jealous ex, part II
2
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 12:54am

Some of you may remember my recent post about an ex who has, for the first time, exhibited some signs of jealousy because of a guy I, sort of, fool around with (nothing serious).

Well... Last week I went and had dinner with my ex. It was all nice and friendly but I couldn't hold myself from asking for the reasons for his reaction to that guy. Actually, to be completely honest, I wanted to hear my ex say he was jealous. Not because I wanted to know he's still got feelings for me. But I guess for some personal sense of gratification because this person has inflicted so much pain upon me in the past. Guilty.

Of course, as usual, my ex dismissed the whole conversation by saying that it's not important, he doesn't want to talk about it because it's "boring", he was just being stupid, etc. He said these things through a smile like it really didn't matter.

I then asked him what will happen if I do find myself a boyfriend eventually that he doesn't like. He said: 'lets cross that bridge when we come to it. And anyway what will happen if I get a girlfriend?'

I said: 'Well, for all I know you might have one already. And it would be fine.'

The whole conversation gave me an impression that I misunderstood his reaction a few nights previous.

But then the other day he came to my place uninvited to take me out for dinner. I said I couldn't go. Then today he rang me to ask if I was coming to his gig (he's a guitarist)and then said: "You're not going to bring your 'boyfriend' with you, will ya?"

I made a joke out of it but I just wonder whether all he really wants is just friendship, and whether the only reason he doesn't like that guy is because he has a genuine concern for my wellbeing... or whether he's hurt that my attention is now offered to someone else.

Also, while we were having dinner last week I told my ex how he should go overseas because he's never ever been anywhere and I really think he needs that experience. The next day he rings me to tell me he bought a ticket for South-East Asia! Now all of our mutual friends are saying they're worried about him and how the reason he did this was because of my advice. I'm confused!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 8:36am

It shouldn't matter, he's your ex so his feelings toward you and toward international travel are his business.

Please move on unless you are interested in resuming this relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 10:36am
How long have you 2 been broken up? Read my post below about the situation with my ex. Of course we have only been broken up for about 5 weeks. I feel that my ex puts up this front that he just couldnt care LESS if I started dating someone else and even says "goooo, go date someone new and you will never give me another thought" but last night his reaction to me saying out of anger "Dont worry, once I am with someone new i will never give you another thought" was an angry "Thank God, I will be VERY VERY happy when that happens" and then after I apologized for my mean comment he said "well dont have stupid comments or yes, I will retaliate to them"...it looks like your ex may be jealous but being a man, just as my ex is, he will NEVER admit it to you. So I'd be careful...very careful.