jealousy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2004
jealousy
2
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 8:13pm
Hi, the boy that I've been dating for 4 months juste let me because I'm working on a summer camp (3h away from him) and he doesn't trusted me because my ex is on the camp. He said he is jealous and can't stand that because I'm beautiful and always hanging out with male friends (I'm in mechanical engineering...) I feel betrayed, he said he loved me and now, that! I just fear to come back at the end of the camp (one week) and see him again to exchange the things we own and that are at the other's house. I want to talk to him, to clarify things, to tell him I never cheated on him, but he is so hostile, he hates me and I did nothing to deserve that reaction, that's completely his imagination. Well, I once told him, joking, that I'd go to my ex's pool with other people in my underwear (bra and unsexy panties) in case I forgot my bikini and he totally overreacted. I feel that's unfair, I truly loved him and I am hurt. I'd like it to never have happened, but I know that he has a jealousy problem, he knows he is jealous but he don't agrees that's a problem. I don't hate him, I'd like to be strong enough to talk to him honestly and to tell him how I felt in that situation because I know I could help him later. Why I want to help him? Because he brought in my life a lot of beautiful things, among them it was true love (without jealousy, filled with trust... well, my side only) and I never felt it before. I still think that he's a good person and I don't want to end it bad because I care about him, though I don't want him to take me back. Do you have some tips for me? I would like to let it all go, but all that story keeps popping out in my head, I need to reason it, to find why it happened in order to recover peaceful thoughts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: bluelittleme
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 8:50pm
bluelittleme...

What an incredibly stupid, insensitive remark! Maybe you thought it was harmless, but Pianoguy would probably dump you on the spot if you pulled that line on him!

Not only did you flaunt the EX boyfriend....but you gave your current b/f the impression that once he is out of the picture, you're willing to cheat on him. Nice gesture...NOT!

If you know the meaning of the word APOLOGY...YOU OWE HIM ONE! Who knows what he'll say once you give it?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: bluelittleme
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 1:05pm
Well you did set yourself up for that one with the remark. On the other hand, he's got major issues with fidelity (that you're not really helping with). You don't need to be with someone who says they can't trust you. And you may want to walk away with the lesson to think before you speak in the future. While you think it was a funny comment, he was obviously very hurt and became fearful that you would follow through with that scenario.

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