Jealousy is going to ruin it

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Jealousy is going to ruin it
1
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 2:04pm
I need some help. One of my really close friends, (Carrie) is dating a really hot guy (John). In fact last night John won a contest for the top hotest firemen in our city. Carrie is a really jealous girl who is sensitive to cheating because her father cheated on her mother which led to her parents divorcing. Now John knows about all of this. Here is the problem. Carrie entered her boyfriend in last nights contest. I was a little suprised by that given her issues. Some of the women at the contest got a little rowdy and they were very touchy feely with John. One went so far to pour her drink on John and then lick it off. Carrie lost it. I politely told the girl to step back because John was taken. Carrie began to cry so I took her in the bathroom to find out what was going on. I very nicely told her that she should have expected some of this because she was the one that entered him and they told the announcer that he was single because they figured it would help him get more votes. Carrie agreed with me but she pointed out that the voting was over so she felt John should tone it down. I told her he was drunk and she said that wasn't an excuse. I agreed with her but told her that arguing with him and crying while he is drunk is not going to help the situation. I asked her if John had ever given her reason not to trust him and she said no. I advised her to trust him then. Apparently one of the girls gave John her number and he took it. I told her she needed to calm down and talk to him about it in the morning once they were both sober. I like John, I know he loves Carrie. I would be very surprised if he cheated on Carrie. I have to admit the number thing bothered me. I just don't know how to help Carrie. I hate to see her miserable but I also think that if she doesn't trust John when he hasn't done anything wrong then that will just give him more of a reason to behave badly. Can anybody give me some advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 7:22pm
It's hard not to feel disturbed, being in Carrie's position. I think any girl would feel a bit threatened in that position. John taking the number is not a good sign, but perhaps he was just playing along without meaning anything and did not realize what he was doing because he was drunk? I don't know. U advised her right, and now, they both just need to resolve it between themselves and come to an understanding. Jealousy can ruin a relationship, you are right. If John is really sincere and does want to keep Carrie, he should make attempts to be more responsible and careful as any sincere guy in a relationship does, and reassure her more of his love in a patient manner. Any girl would need that in such scenarios. Carrie, for her own part, would need to stay in control and think twice and learn to step back whenever she feels feeling jealous is not justified.