Just a "little" question...
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Just a "little" question...
| Sun, 05-27-2007 - 8:34am |
Hey everyone...I met what seems to be the "perfect" guy, but one problem...he's SHORT! I mean short. He says he is 5'4" but I am also 5'4" (actually 5" 3.5", if you want to get technical) and he is definitely smaller than me. I feel like a giant next to him, even in my flattest shoes (forget my chunky sneakers, waaah). Has anyone else had this experience and can offer some insight??? I hate to ditch him because of this, and he really, truly, seems to be everything I want otherwise, damn it! How could fate be so cruel?! Another nice thing is he's totally cool with it, before we met he's like, yeah, just so you know, I'm short. (Which was actually ok with me, but now meeting him, I just felt like when we were holding hands I was the "mommy", and he's 40!!! ) And he seems totally comfortable with it, doesn't seem to have any of the "little man syndrome" I've experienced with smaller guys. Plus, he REALLY has a nice build otherwise, works out a lot, just so damn small, I feel like I'm in munchkin land! Please, anyone out there also with a short guy? What do you think? Thanks! ; )

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Oh thanks stefania9, but don't be so blue...you will meet someone. How old are you? I'm 45. As we age we have to accept that the days of "cantaloupe butt" are gone. We have to find something else to squeeze.
"my sport mix with big hunky guys every day" - I was never into the big body builder type guys. Their bodies are too hard, if you know what I mean. I like to snuggle with someone whose body that has some give to it.
"there are also many women my age with flat asses" -- didn't they start out that way? Usually our butts get much bigger as we age. I'm sure you still look great being in the fitness field.
"I tell them the older you get the more work and time it takes." -- no kidding. When I was in my 30's I only had to work out 3 days a week for about an hour each time. In my 40's it climbed to at least 4 days a week and about 1 hour and 15 minutes each time (45 mins. cardio and 30 mins weights). I can only imagine what will happen when I reach 50.
"if he is kind and has some integrity. Those qualities seem in short supply nowadays." -- I agree with you. Integrity is scarce and so is bravery and loyalty. But you know what men say about men...they are as loyal as their options. But women are catching up to them in the inability to be loyal. If that keeps up, eventually there will be no trust at all between the sexes. Wake me up when its over.
Boy oh boy do I understand where you are now with your crush. I develop crushes way too easily, I can see them coming and I'm like AAAAH NO NO NO, and before you know it, *CRUSH*. Whoever started calling it a crush certainly named it well, because that's exactly what it feels like! Isn't it amazing that you can develop such intense feelings for something (or I should say, someone) that seems like it's not even there? I am a very sensitive, emotional, intuitive person, you sound like you are similar to me, and that makes something like a crush that much harder to deal with. I am also very analytical, and I know I either read too much into things or convince myself something may or may not be there when in fact the opposite is true. It really helps that you don't have contact with your crush, because I've found when you do, it seems virtually impossible to get over them. A few years ago I had a crush on, of all things, my eye doctor!!! Looking back now it was the stupidest thing, I get red in the face just thinking about it. I was having a bout with corneal infections and I was literally seeing him every week for a couple of months. I swear, you'd never seen someone so happy to have eye infections! Now how ridiculous is that?! He was absolutely gorgeous and, to make matters worse, a bit of a flirt, so of course I played it for all it was worth. I had it so built up in my head, we'd run into each other in the parking lot, one thing would lead to another, he'd leave his wife, we'd live happily ever after. When I finally got better, I remember the day he said, "Ok, I'll see you in six months..." I thought OH NO!!! SIX MONTHS?! I'LL NEVER MAKE IT!!! I think I cried and everything (not in front of him, thank God!) but I did get over it, and not seeing him really helped. But he is still my doctor and I do see him once a year, and while I still adore him those feelings are pretty much dormant now, thank goodness! I don't know if this story helped you at all, but I do really really know how you feel. Crushes can be harder to get over in some ways, as opposed to real relationships, because the fact that nothing was really "there" as opposed to an actual boyfriend, I think we tend to be harder on ourselves, and we shouldn't be. Give yourself a break. I think it's just a tribute to your being able to feel deeply, and while that can be hard on you, it's not such a bad thing. I'm the same way but when push comes to shove I'd rather be like that than cold-hearted. You WILL feel better soon! Here are some *HUGS*HUGS*HUGS* to help speed you on your way!!!
Well, I'll tell you about the 37-year-old sometime if you'd like to hear about it, right now I feel like I chewed your ear (or eyes, I guess, since you are reading this) off!
~Karen
P.S. And what the hell are 20-something girls worrying about their biological clocks for?! They DO have all the time in world. Sheesh!
Ahhh, someone who understands...thanks. First of all, it is a good thing your eye infections did not permanently scar your eyes...whew. I wear contacts but I just read an article where the ameoba responsible for this infection is present in water and soil. So if you go swimming or hang out in hot tubs you can easily get this infection and the solution for cleaning and storing lenses is not adequately protecting the eyes from this microorganism. They recalled the solution. You are better off without a doctor, trust me.
You see, I could understand my inability to just get over these feelings if I actually had a relationship with this guy. But...it sucks. It really sucks. It really really really sucks because I'll never personally know this guy. I have never been affected this way before...not personally knowing a person before he got to me...you know? It seems out of order chronologically speaking.
Then on the same cd I was listening to there is another song that stood out. I swear this woman wrote these songs for me. The lyrics go like this:
How can you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb without a soul
my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it and lead it back home.
Wake me up inside
Wake me up inside
Call my name and save me from the dark
Bid my blood to run before I come undone
Save me from the nothing I have become.
another part of the song: Frozen inside without your touch without your love
Darling you are the only life among the dead.
All this time I can't believe I couldnt see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought without a voice without a soul
Dont let me die here there must be something more
Bring me to life.
Thanks for hugs, I needed them. Hugs back to you. Definitely fill me in on the 37 year old.
Take care,
Linda
Hi Linda,
I can't believe you mentioned that song!!! That is "Bring Me To Life", by Evanescence, and it was absolutely, totally my MANTRA during my temporary insanity with my eye doctor crush...I have the CD and I swear there's a groove in that track because I played it over and over and over...just reading the words gave me chills, thinking back on it. As depressing as it is, that song is awesome, because the words are SO TRUE for a situation such as ours (the whole CD is good actually, something I love to play during my blackest moods when I just want to wallow in misery, cheery stuff, huh?) Music is kind of bittersweet, like today I heard "Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover" by Sophie B. Hawkins, and for the first time in 3 1/2 years, I actually sort of kind of for a nanosecond missed my ex-husband for the very first time...we used to love her music and we would call that our "kiss song"; whenever we would hear it we would stop what we were doing and kiss the whole length of our song. WAAAH! Isn't it amazing how a song can mess with your emotions?
Very interesting, on a completely different note, on the eye infection thing. I actually ended up having LASIK (with my adorable doctor fussing all over me YUM YUM YUM.) It got that I couldn't wear my contacts anymore, I kept getting infections, and I was NOT going through my life wearing glasses, as my eyes were extremely bad vision-wise and I literally could not see a foot in front of me without them. So once my eyes got healthy, I had the LASIK. It went really well, I now have better-than-perfect-vision, and it truly is one of the best decisions I ever made.
I guess we got off the subject of what I posted, lol. I'm so glad we met, you are great to talk to. I'd love to tell you about my 37-year-old-currently-driving-me-a-little- crazy, as well as offer you an ear on anything you'd like to talk about as well...are we allowed to exchange regular email addresses here, so we can talk w/o everyone being like, what the heck is all this??? or will we be banned forever from ivillage???
~Karen
Yes, it is a very healing cd, "Fallen" by Evanescence. "Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover" by Sophie B. Hawkins,is one that I remember very well because it was used to death on Beverly Hills 90210, but a good song.
I know, songs can bring back memories - good and bad.
At one point I was also considering LASIK surgery, but right now I'm okay with the contact lenses. I'd rather not have surgery right now.
I sent you an email via your profile. I dont' see your email address unless you reply to the email.
Hi!
May be a little late here, since it looks like snafu did a bang up job already. :)
Bottom line - attraction is very important. This is one of the key things that distinguish a romantic partner from the other relationships you have. My experience is that your lack of physical attraction can color and spoil the rest of the relationship. Some part of you may feel as though you settled, even though this guy may be a winner in every other way.
I dated a guy once that I described as "good on paper." It didn't last because while he was very attracted to me, I did not feel that way about him. The chemistry was off. And I also felt guilty for writing him off even though he was otherwise, "perfect for me."
I totally feel you on the height thing. I'm 5'8" and have a fondness for tall heels, so it's not always easy to find someone who meets my "this tall to ride" requirement.
Hi Linda,
My profile is checked off to receive emails from other members, but I didn't get yours...it is probably an old email address, do you know how to update it? I looked all over settings, profiles, and I can't find an option to update it! Do you have to be a paying subscriber to receive emails, do you know? Thanks! ; )
~Karen
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