Just an update...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2004
Just an update...
1
Thu, 09-02-2004 - 11:48am
Just wanted to tell everyone what was new.. and what was going on in my life.

I haven't heard from him, which is no real surprise to me although I'm still confident that I will, but I've decided something. I'm not worrying about it anymore.

All it accomplished was turning me into this codependent, whining, insecure little freak girl who did everything wrong and possibly pushed him even further away, but more importantly it made me sick. I ended up losing 12 lbs in 2 weeks, possibly more I haven't checked for a few days and making me look and feel like hell. And I'm not doing it anymore!!!

I've decided that IF he comes back, or even with the next person I become involved with that I am NEVER worrying or being insecure or dependent again. I'm going to be confident in that relationship, and not question what he does or if he loves me and just instead enjoy the time I have with them. If it doesn't work out, hey that's what was meant to be, and if it does work out great, that person will have a stronger, more independent person that will enjoy every moment they have together. Instead of a insecure little girl who questions every move they make and doesn't really believe anything they tell me.

But more importantly, if I've learned anything from this relationship its that worrying about bad things happening doesn't stop them from happening, it just causes you to not enjoy what gifts life does give you. I'm instead going to cherish what time I have been given, and focus on the positive things in my life. My job, my school, my friends, my family and my beautiful little boy.

If he did just put us on a backburner and he does call in 3 months wonderful, I still believe he will, but if he doesn't well then it just wasn't meant to be and he's the one who's losing out not me. But in the meantime I'm not going to waste one more minute in worrying, or wondering or trying to figure out anything. It doesn't help anything, and I don't like what kind of person it makes me into.

Anyways, that's my update. Thank you all of you for your advice, and I wish you all nothing but the best. Take care.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-02-2004 - 1:51pm
Excellent! Right on! Print your post, and if your resolve should ever weaken read it over and over again. Your post is the best summarization of how to self-actualize I've read in a long time. I'm very glad for you.