Keeper??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Keeper??
2
Tue, 10-05-2004 - 12:56pm
I went through a divorce and haven't dated in two years. I recently met a guy that I went to school with and we've been dating for about a month. He's a great guy, cute, smart, good job, sweet, respectful, fun, everything I could want; except one thing: I don't yet feel that "click". Am I expecting too much too soon? I like being around him, I feel safe with him and we have fun. There just seems to be something missing. I think he's more into me than I'm into him. Am I wasting his and my time? I don't want to break it off because he is such a great guy. Help!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
In reply to: sarahh78
Tue, 10-05-2004 - 4:35pm
Oh Sarah,

Know what you mean. I am in similar situation. Met nice guy 2 months ago: mature, smart, good job, cute, out-going, totally interested in me, thoughtful, no games, and communicates. I am thinking..... unbelievable. I like him a lot, but, I too am not feeling a 'click', etc. To me, I call it .... the animal attraction. I am attracted to him- but still seems like no 'click'. I don't find myself 'missing him' or 'longing for him' so to speak (we haven't had sex yet). But, I also know that the attraction thing hasn't always happened for me right away in the past also. It has grown on me before..... and became intense. SO, I am hopeful, and for now, will enjoy each others company and see what happens.

I have intense job stress right now and uncertainty with job situation. I know this is contributing to my uncertainty/confusion perhaps? Also,

I, for one, feel like I have feelings for another guy (one who hasn't reciprocated feelings with me other than sexual interest)..... and I know I need to get past this (we only dated- no sex).

I almost feel like right now it would be better to just enjoy the singles thing for now.... and not pursue a relationship. I do not know.

But, I think that you just need to stay open minded and give the guy a chance. Communicate as well. You never know. I am hopeful for me and my guy. He seems to totally have it together in his life/emotionally/plans/goals, etc.

Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
In reply to: sarahh78
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 2:03pm
"I don't find myself 'missing him' or 'longing for him' so to speak" - That's it exactly. We have had sex, and it's great, but like you said, I don't feel myself wanting him when I'm not with him. I am staying open-minded and we are communicating, so I'm hoping some feelings emerge soon. Thanks for the advice!!