Keeping his attention/ is he interested?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2004
Keeping his attention/ is he interested?
4
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 1:52pm
I commute on the train everyday and I've seen a gorgeous man over the last few months. He sits near me all the time. He has looked at me quite often; always makes a point of getting off the train at the same time as me and letting me move in front of him in line. Anyway, I have been through some bad relationships so I figured not to make a move and just to let it be. Well I changed my mind, last week I decided to sit beside him and just started talking casually (about the train delay we experienced the previous day)...just an innocent way to break the ice. I wasn't sure if I should meet him since I had overheard him mention over the phone to a friend that he had gone out with a girl. No idea if it is serious or not. But I thought its a free world...he's not married, so show him (in a non agressive way) that there's another interested party, and let him deal with it from there. For some reason, I was surprised to see that he was talkative, looked constantly into my eyes and kept smiling. I saw him a week later and just said hi/how are you ... had a short conversation. (I figure by this point he would clue in and realize I'm interested; and if he did not like the attention he would take the train in a different area). I don't want to overanalyze, but I am curious about how to really find out what his situation is ? how to keep his interest in me ? or find out if his reaction when we first met was really was a sign of interest ? This may seem like a simple issue but when you are trying to get back on your feet after a bad relationship, even the baby steps are hard. I think I'm on the right track though. Any comments would help. Thanks.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 1:58pm
If he's interested in you romantically and available, he'll make that interest clear by asking you out. I'd just keep up the friendly conversation but not get your hopes up for anything more.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 2:18pm
I agree that I should should be prepared for anything ... but just wondering why he smiled so much and made a point of gazing into my eyes. Even past boyfriends haven't been so obvious. (I'm sure he knew it would be encouraging me and I'm sure he's aware that to play games would make things complicated for him too since we take the train together every day). My female friends tell me that if I want him, I can have him ... and that I just need to go about it in the right way. So should I continue to act independant and just make casual conversation now and again, or should I be more forthcoming like all the "finding Mr. Right" books suggest???
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 3:02pm
Well, are you just looking for a fling? If so, then sure, pick him up!

But if you're looking for r'ship potential, I would continue to be friendly and speak to him whenever you see him. If he's interested and available, he'll ask you out. Now of course, there's no guarantee that he's looking for a r'ship and not a fling even if he does ask you out, but the chances are greater than if you ask him.

What do the "all the finding Mr. Right" books say exactly (and which books are these)? The ones I've read all pretty much favor making your interest clear, but letting the guy ask you out.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 3:13pm

Hello iready4u!