Keeping it as "just friends"
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| Wed, 11-17-2004 - 2:59pm |
I recently met someone while I was getting over a very short but emotional relationship. He became a friend, someone who pulled me out of a very difficult and emotional time in my life. As time went on, we remained in touch but not close. I worked on getting over the old flame and have done so successfully. Within the past month, we have frequently seen each other on a daily basis, talking every day and seem to have a great chemistry. When approached with the subject of us, his response was that he does not want to become intimate because he has ended up hurting everyone that he becomes involved with and he just saw me go through it from another point of view. He also does not know where his job is taking him, what city he wants to be in or where his career will be. So, we have remained friends. In my mind, we are dating with no sex. Touching and cuddling yes, but no kissing or sexual contact. This just makes me feel that he is not "in" to me, but he calls me frequently and expresses how he loves to spend time with me. I tell him how strange I think it is, but his response is that he just wants to have a friendship with someone in a completely different way than he has before. Most friendships he has had with women, ends up in bed and someone getting hurt.
I guess my questions is - is it possible that this relationship could happen down the road, or is he just not that in to me.

you're cuddling with your new found buddy? Sounds like you're having a relationship already to me without the title. What is the expectation towards each other? Are you supposed to be free for each other? What if he wanted to get laid and hooked up with someone this weekend, would that be fine with you? You may not have the title of girlfriend, but I'm concerned that you're making yourself accessable and focusing on this guy to such an extent that you're putting off other men that might want to date you and ask you to be their girlfriend.
You CAN hang out with him forever...I have a friend who _didn't date_ someone for two years and finally she had to lay down the law, that she wanted the title in addition to his company...they got engaged and they've been married since...the point is that relationships do have to move forward or die (Woody Allen).