Kind of Annoyed at This....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Kind of Annoyed at This....
6
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 10:51am

I'm a little confused. I've been dating this guy for a little over a month. We really seem to be into each other in a big way. The last three weekends we spent the entire weekend together and had so much fun. Anyway, he was driving me home yesterday evening and he says "Rob's Christmas party is next Sunday" and to that I just said "Oh, yea?" and that was the end of the topic. First, why would he tell me a week ahead of time when he hadn't even asked me to go to it? I'm feeling kind of bad about this and it doesn't match up with all of his other actions/feelings towards me (ie: wanting to be with me and telling me how much he loves being with me.)

Why would a guy do this? Should I mention something about it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 11:11am
I seem to have the same problem as you and in the past - I have come to realize that they are not like us and he's telling you about and he pretty much just assuming you understand your invited to go with him. I had that happen when I didn't think he wanted me to go and he was just telling me about it but, the day before he was like so We are leaving at 5. Just don't harp on him about it. even though its annoying because we like know what we are doing in advance so, we can plan what we are going to wear etc.... just plan on going but, always have a back up plan if he really didn't expect you to go. (Girls night out) but, whatever you do don't bring it up because, you guys are so new in this and he dosn't want to feel pressured. be cool and laid back about it -even though it is going to drive you nutts
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 11:11am

It definitely would have been nice if he'd been clear about why he was telling you, but why didn't you just ASK him since he wasn't?

He either told you because he's not going to be available to see you that evening, or because he wants you to go with him. I wouldn't assume that it's one or the other until you clarify it with him.

Sheri

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 11:14am

I strongly disagree with this advice.

A straightforward question: "hey, did you tell me about the party so that I would know to make other plans that night, or did you want me to go with you?" is NOT going to be interpreted by a healthy, mature male as "pressure".

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 11:18am
I guess I didn't want to ask him if he was referring to me going cause that would make him feel awkward cause if he wasn't referring to me going...that would be really uncomfortable and I didn't want to invite myself.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 11:23am

If you ask the question in the way I phrased it ("should I make other plans for Sunday evening or did you want me to go with you?"), there should be no awkwardness at all.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 12:08pm
Communication, Communication, Communication!!!!! I have made my fair share of mistakes by not talking about things done/said by my x-SO that didn't sit with me well and paid a price for it.
Learn to talk and not to assume or jump to conclusions! Take this from a guys perspective.