Know why I have sex so soon? I do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Know why I have sex so soon? I do.
17
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 1:23am
I find myself often having sex on the second or third date because it bonds me to a guy. Not to sound shallow, but until I have had sex, I don't feel that deep connection. I want to make sure he's not lacking either in size or technique, becasue then I lose interest and I personally don't want to invest alot of time seeing a guy if I'm not going to be happy with him sexually. I know it's not right that I'm like this, but how do I change? Because obviously, I must be scaring them off by having sex so soon, even though it's them initiating it. I want to turn over a new leaf, but I don't want to invest any time in a guy who may be a bore in bed, like my ex-husband was. Know what I mean?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 10:47am
Anita, that's pretty shallow, but I guess depending on the size of the guy in question it may not be completely shallow. How small does it have to be to pass the "next" test?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 11:09am
I would guess that if you don't feel you are being penetrated or filled up then that would qualify as "next"...because I've been there (yes, I know...it has been unfortunate) and - and it wasn't fulfilling. Mind you, I haven't had any kids to stretch out my vaginal canal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 8:12pm
I have a question. I have been out of the dating scene for a while. Usually, but not always, I ask the guy when was the last time that he was intimate with someone and when was the last time he was tested for STDs, if ever. I do get intimate early on in the relationship, like you. Do you ever ask these questions? Does anyone ask these questions anymore? It's also a great way to find out how close to a rebound you are to a guy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2000
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 12:12pm
Hey curvykate, another Ausinite! (I live in North Austin.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 7:10pm

Technically, I'm at Crystal Falls in Cedar Park, but who knows where that is?

Hey, you never answered my question...how small does the guy have to be for you to say "next"? I suppose there might be a size where I'd have the same reaction, but I guess I've been lucky not to encounter one that small.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2000
Sun, 06-03-2007 - 3:48pm
Oh, I just say stuff like that to stir things up. It's called trolling.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sun, 06-03-2007 - 6:52pm
Unlike biggeranita, I have been in that unfortunate situation and i wasn't kidding. Thankfully it has been very rare.

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