The L-word

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2003
The L-word
6
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 7:13am
I'v been best friends with this guy i'm dating now for about six months. Three months ago, we started dating. It's going great so far. Great sex, we talk every other hour, we see each other almost every day, he tells me all his secrets and he knows mine. Practically nothing goes on in his life without me knowing it and sharing every moment. I've been there for him when things were tough at work and he was very depressed. The only thing that's bothering me though is that so far he has not told me that he loves me. I know I'm ready for that! But I'm too scared that if I say it first it might drive him away, it might scare him off and lead him to think that I want him to committ when it's yet too early.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: dreammate77
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 7:40am
dreammate77...

Saying the "L" word isn't always easy for some men....so what's wrong with YOU asking him:

"DO YOU LOVE ME...AT LEAST A LITTLE?"

Your b/f is gonna have to say something, right?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: dreammate77
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 12:26pm
If you're ready to hear it said, then you have to be willing to ask him for it. If you don't want to be the first one to say it, for fear of something, then you're just being silly.

You don't have to say you love him, you can say, "I'm falling in love with you". That sounds a little less risky and see what his response is.

Won't you feel sillier if he was just waiting for YOU to say it first for the same fear?


Alison

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: dreammate77
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 1:31pm
Why do you feel compelled to say it? If you want him to know how you feel do small things for him without verbalizing it. Many people think its something that needs to be said- that is why the word gets so misused. If you're not sure about him loving you- dont say it at all. It took me 2 years to say it to my boyfriend of 8 years. That is because I wanted to make sure I wouldnt misuse the word. We both knew our feelings for eachother and its just a word that doesnt need to be said until you know, and it could take years. It takes most men years to fess up to that word- trust me- for many men, Its even tough for them to say it to their mothers! Why do you have to hear the love word said to you if you are confident in your relationship and he is there for you- in many ways that is love and you shouldnt need reassurance to know it is. Hope I helped. stacy
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
In reply to: dreammate77
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 4:37pm
i'm always hearing how guys don't say i love you right away or never want to say it but that hasn't been my expenence at all. my first serious boyfriend told me he loved me after about two days heck he was talking about marrage after about a week. way too fast for me. and i felt that i had to say i love you back even though that was how i felt. then this other guy asked me out and i said yes and he started leaving me love notes that said i love you in them before we had even gone out on our first date. now the guy i'm with now told me that he loved me after about two or three weeks once again i was taken aback i was falling in love but wasn't there yet. now i am in love with him but i get sick of hearing it all the time at the end of every phone call or when he walks out the front door. where are all the guys that don't like to say not to complain or anything just wondering.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: dreammate77
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 4:40pm
You may feel something that resembles love for this guy, But trus me deares,, it takes wa longer than six monhs to even get o know a dude let alone fall in love with him. You may feel love for him as a person, and if he is really rocking your world in the bedroom, that can make you all soft and pink , and cloud your emotion meter as well.

Being birn female, you are at a disadvantage. We love much quicker, harder, stronger, and longer han men. I would wait before saying the L word. He will probably be freaked out and start treating you all wierd. There's nothing worse than wearing your heart on your sleeve.

Keep it safe and hidden for right now, You'll be glad you did.

Good Luck

Ms. Sylence
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: dreammate77
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 11:15am
Usually when a guy says I love you so fast- (after a couple days- weeks) they arent mature in their thinking and some say it to try and use it to get something else. Unfortunate but true. They think that its what the girl wants to hear- and they say it for them not because it is whats being felt. When men get older I find they are alot more careful with their words and it takes them much longer to say the L word. And the longer it takes to say it, the better for you because they're not saying it for you they are saying it because thats what they truely feel. Trust me- if a guy says I love you after the first couple dates- your in trouble and run run run! ha! Because if they are saying it to you too early how will you ever know when to take them serious- think about it. Hope I shed some light- stacy