Lacking Trust

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2006
Lacking Trust
2
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 7:37pm

I've been with this guy for a little while now; we were friends for about 4 months but recently got together after deciding we wanted to have a relationship with one another. Since then we've been quite intimate, though we havent slept together yet. We've become close emotionally and i really click with him, both as a friend and as more.

Now you would think, so whats the problem? Well you see, in his past he slept with alot of girls (casual sex)...and when i say alot it's bordering 30..now he is 23, and he hasnt been with anyone for a long while (Over 6 months..which i guess is long for him), and before that he was in a serious relationship for 2 years and got hurt when his ex cheated on him twice. Now, since we've been together he said he hasnt been interested in anyone else but me...and also that he's really changed compared to his past and he's actually quite ashamed that he slept around so much. I really want to believe him because i like him so much and we get on so well. But i have a few trust issues anyway and im finding it really hard to just let go and not worry about whether he'll end up cheating on me. He says he wouldn't, and 99% of me believes him because he's just generally very affectionate and lovely to me..but there is always this self doubt. I know you build up trust over a long period of time..but i dont know. im just scared. Anyone got some advice on how not to feel so silly? Cus im feeling quite vulnerable right now. =\.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
In reply to: shavybohn
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 7:53am

I don't know this guy so I can't tell you whether to trust him or not.

But I don't see where he has given you any indication that he would cheat. You've known him for 4 months, you should have a pretty good indication of his character at this point. He was in a serious relationship for 2 years, it seems like he has a pretty good track record if he didn't stray on his girlfriend. He also has not had sex for 6 months. How much more can you ask?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2006
In reply to: shavybohn
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 2:14pm
Hey Chamey,
You're right i think. I guess im just being irrational lol, it does help to have another person's perspective on it though otherwise i think i'd go mad with just thinking about it too much..so thanks =)