Ladies, a man needs your help!
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Ladies, a man needs your help!
| Tue, 09-28-2004 - 5:49am |
Help! I've heard so many women complain about men who are afraid to commit, but let me tell you, it goes the other way, too! My girlfriend and I met two years ago when she was 24 and I was 32. We immediately had a very intense emotional and physical connection. Within months we were using the "L" word and talking about marriage and a future togehter. Since then, however, I've felt as though she hasn't truly committed to those ideals. Her pattern is to one minute tell me she loves me and wants to marry me and the next minute tell me she can't be w/ me. Most recently, on her birthday, she called to thank me for the 26 long-stemmed roses I'd sent her, saying they were "the most beautiful flowers I've ever seen" only to follow with "I can't be with you right now. I don't want to date anybody else, but I can't date you right now. I need to date myself for awhile. I've got some personal goals I need to work on." All this after spending the entire weel prior together, including the night before, telling me how much she loved me, how she couldn't wait 'til we were married, how good it felt just to be able to say she loved me, how good & precious I made her feel, having me take care of her when she wasn't feeling well, etc.. It's been a little while and we haven't really talked, but she'll still tell mutual friends things like "I love him dearly, but I just can't be w/ him right now." Also, since then I've found a new job and she tells our friends how jealous she is b/c she's afraid I'll meet someone new. Of course, I have no desire to be w/ anyone but her, but my feelings are, "If that's how you feel, why aren't we togehter? This entire situation is your choice!" I'm at my wits end. This constant yo-yo effect has nearly driven me insane, literally! Still, this is the woman I thought and hoped I'd spend the rest of my life with, and I still am completely in love w/ her, so I do not want to give up. But I can't help but wonder, "Am I being a fool?" What do I do?
Oh, one more thing: She also asked me to marry her earlier this summer before I was going out of town for a weekend for a family funeral; a funeral which I told her it was very important to me for her to attend w/ me, which she did not. Because I was so upset that she wasn't going w/ me, I said we'd talk about it when I got back. Of course, by the time I got back, she wasn't even sure if she wanted to date me anymore...
Oh, one more thing: She also asked me to marry her earlier this summer before I was going out of town for a weekend for a family funeral; a funeral which I told her it was very important to me for her to attend w/ me, which she did not. Because I was so upset that she wasn't going w/ me, I said we'd talk about it when I got back. Of course, by the time I got back, she wasn't even sure if she wanted to date me anymore...

Let her go, don't contact her and be on your own for awhile. The more you stay "in" her life, the more you aren't going to get over her. Give her what she asks, time away from you...let her miss you and want you back, if you are always around when she needs you or wants to talk etc. then you are giving her cake and eating it too....Live your life for YOU not her.
Yes, you are on the same kind of emotional rollercoaster ride that many women are on.
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