leave him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
leave him?
2
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 5:43pm

I met my guy, T, 2 months ago and we've been together since then. I really like him but I'm no where near falling in love with him. Mainly because he is not the affectionate type of guy but I'm the big time cuddler/kisser. Yes he was a bit shy and nervous at the start and now he is getting more comfortable. He is not a kissy face and he's not the type who likes public display of affection. That's ok, but this is what I don't get:

Last weekend he came over with a DVD, we watched it, I cooked dinner, he helped me wash up, we hugged (no kissing, just hugging and touching) and he stayed the night (yes he did have his arms around me in bed). The next morning there was more "action" in bed. He left after breakfast and I had to go to the car with him to open the gate and when we were walking he didn't touch me. Gave me a kiss on the lips and said bye.

After that I heard nothing from him until yesterday (thursday) and he asked if I wanted to "catch up" this weekend... and I'll see him for lunch this Sunday.

"catch up"? and why did he not even kiss me good night. I tried to hug him as we were going to bed but he didn't have much reaction and I did kiss him good night on the cheek but he didn't kiss me back.

My friends have met him and they think he is very nice and he likes me- yes I agree. But still I really prefer to date someone who is more passionate, affectionate and physical (out of the bedroom as well!!).

My instinct tells me that he might not be using me but just maybe clueless. For my part, the fact that I want to date another guy is a sign that I should leave T.

I want to talk to him but I don't know what to say. I'm a bit confused myself. Can someone help me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
In reply to: red_mushroom
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 8:13pm
You need more information. If you've gotten that intimate, you might want to ask him about his past relationships to understand him better, offering of course to tell him about yours and your expectations. Sounds like a nice guy, but you might want to find out his sitch and figure out if you want to deal with it or not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2005
In reply to: red_mushroom
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 8:31pm
Maybe he is just adjusting to things with you, and isn't doing anything intentionally to hurt you. Yes, not every guy is the affectionate types. Give him some more time. I think 2 months is still kinda short. Then you will know whether it's just what he is, or if this is a matter of comfort. You can also talk this with him, and see what he has to say. That will put you more at ease, and will help you understand where he is coming from.