Left for a pregnant mistress

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
Left for a pregnant mistress
6
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 9:09pm
I have spent the last two and a half years with someone and he cheated on me and got someone pregnant. This really sucks...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 1:55pm
What are you waiting for to dump his sorry behind? Don't waste another minute with this cheater. Take control of the situation AND leave.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 4:58pm
So did he leave you or is he going to sit on the fence with you? It's very painful to be betrayed you like you have been (BTDT)...right now take care of you, read books, go to therapy, work out, etc....the day will come when you will see how lucky you are to be free of this guy's baggage. Right now I know how much it hurts. ((((BIG HUGS))))
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 7:56pm

Thanks for the kind words. It seems right now I can't stop crying tonight. He didn't even have the curtisy to leave me. He just didn't come home from work. I called to find out what was going on and he told me over the phone. I boxed all of his things and left them at his job because he wouldn't answer my calls from work. he doesn't even seem to care that he's hurt me. He said he loves me and it was a mistake, but he and I will get over it. He said his child won't so he is going to eventually move in with the girl. This is so unreal because I never would have expected it from him.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 9:43pm
Hon, it'll be hard to get over him but you can do it. Focus on his actions and his words, which don't match at all. He says he loves you yet he left you without notice. He doesn't care for you or your feelings. He'll probably cheat on his new GF, child or not. Remember that "once a dog always a dog". Don't expect a call or that he'll show up at your doorstep because this won't happen. Put him behind and begin the healing process.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 5:34pm
Oh, he'll call AND show up on your doorstep. Then, after he has slam dunked your heart AGAIN he'll go back to her or another one just like her. I am constantly shocked and appalled by the men we allow to breed, ladies. This guy is what I call a plastic penguin. Much like a stuffed animal resembles a real one this guy makes the appearance of being a nice guy. He looks like a nice guy, he may even sound like a nice guy. But no matter how much effort he puts into the illusion of nicety, he's never going to be a nice guy -- just like a plastic penguin will never be a real one no matter how much you want it to be. You didn't do this to yourself, he did it to you. Make sure he's out of your life for good and the drama goes with him. And remember it could always be worse, you could be the pregnant one now stuck with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 11:20pm
Awe, honey. Watch out for yourself right now...watch out for signs of slipping into a depression, reach and get yourself some practical help. It's ok to cry. It's also ok to ask friends to walk the dog for you and do some grocery shopping, you know? This is a very traumatic thing...break it down hour by hour or even minute by minute. Don't forget to eat and try to get some sleep. Be proactive and don't go anywhere near alcohol right now. Don't expect to get over this overnight, either. You were in this for 2.5 years, forgive yourself for crying over him. He's a louse and not worth a single tear, but you do have to mourn before you can move on. Better to mourn than to suppress it and pretend that it's all honky dory and have it all come back to haunt you later. Try the betrayed spouses board, it won't matter that you weren't married, they'll be very supportive there.