Less mature older guy...
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 11-10-2006 - 1:34pm |
Okay, so I am a young college student and I am dating a man 3 years my senior. We have been going out for 4 months now. We live a few hours away from each other which makes things hard and we are both really busy. He is a lot of fun to be with and he says he loves me. Still I have some concerns.
He is not in school, but works full time for his parents company doing manual labor. He does have a vocational degree, that he doesnt use. He says hes thinking of going back to school but I dont know if I really believe that anymore, as I get to know him better and as his "lack of a plan" plan starts to become more clear. As I am just starting college and looking at a career, I being to feel a little like he should be headed on the same sort of track. I know that sounds a little like I have high expectations and sometimes I do. Still, it doesnt seem like he is heading in a more mature direction at all.
He does all the normal guy things, calling later than he says, not talking for long when he does, which is frustrating as we rarely see eachother, but we are both busy. But its other things that get to me. Its his 'pimped out' car with the extra loud bass and exhaust. Its his rap music. Its the multiple body peircings and the fact that hes thinking of getting more. Its the way he doesnt take things seriously. Its the way he doesnt respect authority or his parents. I feel like he has reached the point in his life where he should be growing up more and I feel he is headed in the wrong direction.
I want whats best for him and I feel that its time for him to get past the 17 year old him. I also want whats best for me and I dont know how long I can seriously date someone who is more the kind of guy you have a fling with.
What can I say/do to make him see this or should I even bother? Help?
Edited 11/10/2006 4:56 pm ET by thatgirl54655

Honey, the problem is that you want the best for him and for him to pass 17...BUT he does not. He's happy with driving his pimped out car and getting body piercings. His life is what you see right now and even though he says he wants to go to college, he's not.
His standards in life say that he can disrespect his parents. He can also disrespect you and ignore your feelings. He doesn't call and you both don't see each other very much. He now works in manual labor even though he has a vocational degree and I suspect that all his money goes into his car, beer and body piercings. Your standards in life are VERY different than his.
From your post, one could assume that dating this guy will get you two things...a hearing loss from the loud music and maybe aids. He pierces his body and who knows where he's been. The best date you'll ever have with this guy will be hanging out with his friends and drinking beer.