Lessons learned this week...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Lessons learned this week...
16
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 7:09pm

I thought it would be fun and educational to share one lesson we learned this week when dealing with our dating lives... So if everyone would be so kind to share what they learned, it would be great!


This week I learned that I let too much of myself go in my last relationship, meaning that I stopped worrying about me and worried more about what he thought of me... I gave up way too much power.


So what about you? :o)

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 4:30am

Ilearned this week that if you are in a relationship with someone that isnt much of a communicator, that all is not lost, and that with time and patience you can turn it around. Its all in how you present the conversation, the level of comfort you give that person, and that its okay to take a chance and let them know what you want or need.

Id like to add that I learned this from a man on the board here, who gave me a mans point of view on communication, and some tips for how to slowly get a man to open up. He also explained to me that basically a man cant read my mind, and if I dont let him know how I feel, he may assume Im happy with things, and they will never be addressed.

Thank you Spiceman!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 8:29am

This week I learned that if you do not find someone physically attractive, you don't find them physically attractive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Wed, 03-22-2006 - 8:33am
No one else learned any lessons this week?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Wed, 03-22-2006 - 9:43am
I learned that I need to start going back to the gym! I am heading to warm weather for the week, and I didn't like any of the shorts I tried on! lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-22-2006 - 10:03am

Hi cl-bklynchik!

During the winter months, Pianoguy learned that the only advantage of owning an electric blanket was to take the "chill" off before getting into bed! December thru February can be very C-O-L-D in Maine!

Of course...a female companion would have been considerably more satisfying when it comes to 'pre-heating the sheets!'

But to quote Mick Jagger (from the Rolling Stones): "U Cain't Always Get What You Want!"

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Wed, 03-22-2006 - 3:52pm

Hey, Pianoguy!

Your post reminded me of this anti-Brit book (written by some Frenchie, whose name I am forgetting), which said: "people all over the world have sex; the Brits, they have water-bottles!" -- well, American people are aware of the difference, I guess...

As for lessons learned: God it has been an intense week;

#1 -- when I guy starts their profile with: "this is so difficult to write, it can "open doors" or be the reason to get rejected" (quating verbatim)it means exactly that: the man is petrified at the thought of rejection (and he did think I rejected him, even though I didn't). Lesson learned: do listen to your gut feeling (which was screaming :"Stear clear of this man!") second chances are not always warranted: waste of time and emotional energy.

#2 -- clicking with somebody is "necessary but not suffieicient condition" when it comes to potential partners! (A guy whom I was so clicking with, I thought , turned out to be a com,plete flake, not keeping his word -- was very difficult to let go of him ,but i had to). I know, I know that at the age of 32 I should be smarter than that, but I am not, what can I say! :))

Well, there's more, but 2 lessons in a week, this is plenty, right? :))

Happy dating, everybody!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2005
Wed, 03-22-2006 - 4:28pm

My lesson goes right along with yours. In my case I was attracted to the guy, outside of the bedroom--right type physically, intellectually fit, treated me great, really liked being around the guy, I cared about him, he cared about me...... But from date 2 on there was no spark, no butterfly, the sex was ok but not great (lackluster would be a good word). I liked snuggling with him, but the kiss lacked the punch.

at first I thought that we could build on the good/great aspects of the relationship. But without the whole package it doesnt work. The relationship could not progress past a certian point into something more serious without all the pieces being there..... you cant fake the "zaza" or the attraction.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 10:46am

I was reminded of a dating scenario I experienced some time ago, so I'll share this "lesson" with everyone.

What you see is what you get. If a guy is cheap on your first date, he'll always be a cheap date. If a guy is forceful about sex on the first date, it will only get worse if you have a r-ship with him. If he argues or twists around a fact to suit his purposes, he will surely do a lot more of that down the road.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 12:41pm
I learned that I will never understand men. The guy I slept with after I started "seeing" him 6 weeks ago called the day after we had sex to say he had a wonderful time. I called him back & haven't heard back from him since. That was Sunday. Today is Thursday.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 1:38pm
dont expect him to change just because you want him to...accept him for who he is or move on
,
,

Pages