living with your boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
living with your boyfriend
4
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 12:31pm
i just wanted to see if there were any girls outtere who had the same problem as me. My boyfriend and i have been living together for almost a year now, we are both in our 20's and i am a full time student and he works full time and supports us. we have been together for over 4 years and our sex life practically doesnt exist even though i try to initiate it he just doesnt want it , and always has something better to do. We barely see each other, even though we live together, and i just realized that he is beginning to treat me worse and worse. i cry because of him almost every day, i dont know what to do, it seems like all he is interested in is making money and doesnt realize how i feel. i just wanted to know whether anyone has a similar situation and what to do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 1:02pm
I have been living with my boyfriend for 2 years.It was very rough the first year and I didn't think that we were going to make it through. The sex stopped being consistant after about 6 months and now it is virtually non existant.I love him with all my heart but sometimes I wonder if moving in with him was the right thing to do, but I also don't know what I would do without him
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 1:59pm

Why are you letting a man whom you're not married to support you?

<< We barely see each other, even though we live together, and i just realized that he is beginning to treat me worse and worse. >>

Hon, he doesn't respect you. That's why. You're a student and he's working full-time and he's feeling the "baggage" of carrying your load. What you're getting is uncommunicated resent, not respect. I know, that may be a little harsh, but unless you're on an equal playing field, what you're not going to have is mutual respect ... very important for a relationship to thrive.

If you want his respect and want the relationship to "work," get out on your own and rebuild your relationship so that he can see that you're standing on "your own two feet."

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 2:20pm

I think the two of you need to have an open and honest discussion about this relationship and where it is headed.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2005
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 3:05pm
I agree 100% with the poster who said that he may have become resentful of you because he is supporting you, even though you are not married. The playing field will become more level once you have graduated and find a job. If you think the relationship is worth fighting for, you may want to consider moving out and showing him that you can support yourself. Easier said than done, I know, but you don't want to be dependent on him and he probably doesn't want it either...