Long distance crisis that hasn't begun

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2004
Long distance crisis that hasn't begun
1
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 4:16am
I'm 22 years old. My boyfriend is turning 26. We have a wonderful relationship and have been living together for about a year now. The problem is that he is graduating this year and will need to move away. I have a little extra time left after that and will have to stay here. Many of our friends are going to be done with school as well so my social support system is going to be slim. I know and he knows that he needs to do whatever possible to get his career on the way and for him to become a self-sufficient person (he took a while in school). And I know that I need to stick it out here and finish my schooling. But I have these bouts of depression because I keep anticipating the future. I am not worried that he will cheat on me or anything like that, but I am fearing the lonliness. We socialize with our friends and do spend time apart with our friends but most of our time we share together. We have such a strong bond and he's always comforting me whenever these bouts of depression take place. We've talked about how to go about seeing eachother and working through this time. I try to control my sadness and just enjoy the time we have while he's here but it's just so hard to not think about it. Will it get better? Is this normal? I am reasonably independant (I moved four hundred miles away from home to go to school) and managed to make a life of my own. But so much of that includes my boyfriend and I am terrified that my depression is going to push him away (even though he says it wouldn't and to talk to him). Is this a normal reaction? Does it get a little easier? What should I expect in the future?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 10:37am
If you have problems with depression, then he will need to accept this as part of who you are, and deal with it. My Significant Other deals with my difficult family issues, and accepts it as part of having me in his life. I try not to involve him too much in the family dramas, so it has worked out so far. Nobody is perfect.


I know its hard to maintain a relationship with someone when they move away; if both of you are committed then it will work out in the end.