Long Distance Dating- how far is too ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2007
Long Distance Dating- how far is too ...
3
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 2:43pm

Long Distance Dating- how far is too far?



  • 50 miles
  • 75 miles
  • 100 miles
  • over 100 miles
  • more than a 30 minute drive is too far
  • Love has no boundries


You will be able to change your vote.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 12:29pm
I don't believe that LDRs can work unless the r-ship started and developed in a regular way, is fully committed and established and the long distance thing is temporary - anything up to 6 months with at least monthly visists in between. I was going to say 'it has to be within one country' but then thought nope, that would only be valid for Europe, most of the posters are from the US here and the US is a tiny little bit bigger lol than the UK where I am from. My bottom line is, the distance cannot really be longer than around 4 hours by train/car, and it has to be a very temporary and unavoidable situation in an otherwise fully established long term r-ship. I truly do not think there is any point to a LDR if that is not the case. I cannot belive some of the posts on the LDR board on village, along the lines of 'I am in California, my boyfriend is in Australia, we haven't seen each other for 7 months, how can we keep our r-ship alive'.... You have to be part of each other's regular normal day to day life to be able to refer to what you have with them as a r-ship, and that is not possible if you are thousands of miles away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 3:32pm
I agree completely!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2006
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 5:22pm

I agree with you to an extent. My bf and I started dating under normal circumstances, but then he had to move across the country for a job that he couldn’t pass up. We decided to stay together and see what happens. We talked everyday and flew across the country to see each other once every 6-8 weeks. Now almost 2 years later, we are closer and stronger than ever. I am moving to be with him next month. I dare say that my relationship with my bf is stronger and more committed than any of my past relationships that have been local. We learned how to communicate with each other very well and trust each other completely, which are very important in any relationship. Through the test of distance and hardship, we now know for sure that there is no one else on the planet we would rather be with except each other. It has not been a walk in the park, but it did work for us. Maybe our case is more an exception than the general case?

I can’t however imagine if we are not in the same country. The immigration problem alone makes the whole thing almost impossible. I also can’t fathom those people on the LDR board who claim that they are in a LDR with a man they haven’t even met in real life. The contact has only been limited to the internet and phone. That sounds completely crazy to me. And if they are doing internet dating, why not limit their search to mates who are local to them, instead of cross-country or cross continent? It’s hard to fathom. And yes, I can’t imagine starting a relationship LD. There has to be a foundation and trust established in order for 2 people to go that extra mile for each other.