Long distance relationship
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Long distance relationship
| Wed, 06-23-2004 - 7:07am |
I met someone on an online dating service, 5 days ago. We found that we have a lot in common, such as morals, education etc. We have a connection that that is different from any I've had before. He's easy to talk to and he's a good listener. He lives in OR and I live in GA. I've never done this before. We want to meet. Who should make the first step? How do we keep the relationship going when we don't see each other?

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"How do we keep the relationship going when we don't see each other?"
Good question! That's precisely the reason why I only replied to guys from my own area. A LDR is not what I was looking for. Too tough to develop a relationship when you're not together! (impossible IMO)
That said, I do know of LDRs where people met online that have worked out. The keys are meeting in person ASAP, and having the means to visit each other frequently. He should come to you for the first visit, and should arrange to stay in a hotel for safety reasons.
I suggest reading the thread started by southernbelle (I think!) on the Online Dating site.
Sheri
I'm glad it worked for you, but I think in general, it's not sound advice.
Sheri
You say it's not "sound advice". Well, people are writing in here to hear about others' experiences. My advice was sound, because it came from my experience. Relationships are tricky any way you look at it. Relationships start in so many different ways. Yes, there are a lot of freaks out there, you can meet a freak in class, at a bar, next door, in the super market, or online. You have to be cautious any way you look at it. Advice is advice, this is why people are on this message board. To get advice and decide for themselves what advice they are going to take or not take.
Finding chemistry online is NOT as rare as you think. Believe me. Most people don't want to admit it if they've met online. I'm not at all ashamed that I did the online dating and I am happy I did it. I found the love of my life, live next to a couple that met online (long distance) and also met another couple that met online (long distance). All of us live in the same town. Not that rare.
I'd say out of every 10 people I've met from online, I have real chemistry in person with 1 or 2. That's a low enough percentage that I'd qualify it as "rare". And I had good "online" chemistry with all of them, or I wouldn't have met in the first place. Given those odds, and that it's so much easier to get to know someone in person, why wouldn't you meet for a cup of coffee ASAP, and take it from there?
Sheri
Edited to add: I've also seen plenty of examples of people who spent months or even years emailing and talking on the phone before meeting, and who were sorely disappointed when they finally met in person (or the other person was, which is even more upsetting). I myself spent way too long corresponding with guys who *seemed* great when I first started online dating, only to find myself surreptitiously checking my watch when we met, wondering how soon I could leave. Why invest that much time, only to find out there's nothing there?
Edited 6/23/2004 4:28 pm ET ET by northwestwanderer
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