Long distance...I'd like to try at least

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
Long distance...I'd like to try at least
1
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 5:47pm
Hi everybody!

I need your help. I came to Connecticut for the summer....and of course met this wonderful guy. He's everything I want: sweet, nice, respectful, smart... We've been dating for 6 weeks. However, I have to go back home in 3 weeks, which is 11 hours away from where he lives. My friends kept telling me to enjoy the time I spent with him without thinking of the future. That's what I did until....yesterday. I couldn't help but ask him directly: "What's going to happen when I'll go back ?" He said "it's going to be hard as we live in different countries" (I'm from Canada). I answered very quickly " I agree"....Stupid am I. That's true, I agree it would be hard, but I'm willing to give it a try at least. He has one more year here before getting his diploma and after he can move wherever he wants (and as he also is Canadian, he keeps saying he wants to go back in Canada). I still have 2 more years before getting my degree...and then could move anywhere for my post-doc. So he said something like " we never know, maybe we'll live in the same city in 2 years..."

Most of the guys I dated in the past were jerks. For once, I met someone that I really like.

He even introduced me to his family last weekend. And I have one month off in October and could come back to spend it with him. But for both of us, our careers are very important and we're working hard on them.

Should I tell him that I'd like to give it a try at least, or should I give up ? I know this is not very rational and maybe not realistic, but I like him and am attached to him.

Thanks for your help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 7:47pm
I think you should take your friends' advice and have fun while you are there. Don't worry too much about what happens when you go. Plan that you will still keep in touch and be friends. Who knows, you may miss each other so much you want to continue the relationship. Either way, you can still talk to the guy once you move, still keep in touch with him. But just have fun while you two are together and try not to focus on when you leave. If you both just say, "hey this has been great fun, let's keep in touch" that's great and that's what you should do.

Realistically you have only known this guy for a few short weeks. That's not long enough to think of a life time together. Keep the friendship going when you go home, but don't expect anything more.

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