long term goes long distance= mess

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
long term goes long distance= mess
1
Thu, 09-15-2005 - 12:56pm

Please help me. My boyfriend of 3and 1/2 years and I recently both moved to different cities to continue our schooling. Shortly after, he called and dumped me, saying it was too hard and it wouldn't work, even though he still loved me. We continued talking about once a week after that... then just now, 3 weeks later, he called and confessed that he hooked up with a girl in his class 5 days after he dumped me. And this happened "several times" iwht the same girl. He swears that she ment nothing to him, and it was just because he was lonely and confused. Now he is saying he made the mistake of his life, that he really loves me, and this made him realize it and he wants me back.

I love him so much, but I don't know if I'll be able to trust him again. We had such a loving, trusting relationship that I thought was perfect. He said when he dumped me he was depressed, and focusing just on the negatives and ignoring the positives. What should I do!??!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Thu, 09-15-2005 - 7:18pm

Hi leah,


I'm sorry you're going through this. My question to you is--what do you want to do? I'm thinking you want to give him the chance, otherwise you wouldn't be here.


Thing is, what has changed? The distance is still there and now there's another person involved. I think you need some time and space to sort out your feelings and the hurt he's caused. And I think you should definitely make him work for it. He was the one who broke up with you, so now it's up to him to win you back.


Keep us posted.

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