Looking into past patterns

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Looking into past patterns
14
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 2:01pm

I really need to figure out why I keep getting crushes on men who just don't like me back.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 4:38pm

Interesting! I will have to reconsider hiking as a way to meet men, I guess ;-).

I've never needed anything like that either and I've been hiking for close to 30 years too...but I think the point of taking them is "just in case". You never need those things until you do need them, ya know?

On a more serious note, I love to hike alone (I find it great for thinking and meditating--the mountains and old growth forests are my "church", if you will), but given the recent fatal shooting (still unsolved) of two women here on a hike (mother and daughter) I am having to re-think going alone so I may re-join that group just to have hiking companions (my friends are not as into it as I am).

Stacey, sorry for the thread hijack!!! I do think that Chamey's points about getting to know a guy BEFORE you allow yourself to have a crush on him are very good and worth considering--that point shouldn't get lost.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 4:43pm

Volunteering activities as a man-meeting opportunities need to be screened. Everyone needs volunteers so you can basically pick your poison. I hate to divulge what a huge operator I am but I have an element of success so I will share.

Your objective is to meet eligible men so keep your eye on the prize. The do-gooder thing is just what puts you where you need to be. DON'T volunteer for the 5K Breast Cancer walk, DO volunteer to be at the registration booth for the Boston Marathon (you are in Massachusetts?). That marathon is getting organized right now so jump on board while you can, go to the website to find out whether you can squeeze yourself onto registration duty and packet distribution. You aren't the first single lady to think of this, so expect some competition for the spots. Second tier position is at the food and beverage area at the finish line, offer to make the Gatorade.

If you want a man with money, go for the galas. Look at every big ticket ($300 or more) fundraising gala that is coming up, the season runs September to November and then January to April. Be bold, call to see if they need volunteers. There is some major volunteer competition for this so don't feel bad if you get snubbed and ignored. Somebody will let you do something eventually. Rich people can be very cliquish, but if you stick with it, it is amazing how many rich and powerful friends you can develop. Be friendly and helpful, and you will need a wardrobe. Goodwill is your friend. I've been involved with THE hottest fundraising ticket in town for the last 5 years. It wasn't always the hottest party but at this fest's inception they desperately needed help. Now I am a major part of the auction. I was snubbed at the beginning because people didn't know me, but now I am welcomed with hugs and get introduced to some of the best bachelors in town.

If you put forth the effort, you can worm your way into anywhere and meet anyone you wish.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 5:03pm

I think you guys hit the nail right on the head - from now on, when I see a guy I think is attractive, I will "ground" myself by thinking, "he may have SERIOUS issues - you don't know him well enough yet to know if you should like him or not."

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 5:17pm

When I started doing the volunteer thing I was flat broke. I was absolutely terrified, but I was also sick and tired of meeting losers in a bar as well. I knew something in my life had to change so I was trying different methods of expanding my horizons.

Insanity is repetition while expecting different results

Wealthy and powerful people have the ability to hire poor but enthusiastic people. And I also think it is very nice to be able to call some of the richest and most powerful people in the area and have them take my calls because they know who I am. Volunteer activities look great on a resume too.

Do not undervalue yourself.

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