Looking for something

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2004
Looking for something
1
Wed, 12-08-2004 - 12:36am
Well, this is a long complicated one. We were never officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but we were together for approximately 3 years, all the time. I lived in his guest house, we were together all the time. We worked together sometimes. A lot happened between us. We slept together. I never really felt like i fit in with his friends, but his family definitly became mine. We were close in most ways. Well, i have had a bad year, my father passed away, i lost my job, got in a bad car accident, etc. He was there through most of it for me. But, after i lost my job...he turned cold and distant. Then one night, after i asked him whats wrong, he lost it with me, told me he was tired of me, kicked me out. Since then, i have moved thousands of miles away, but things arent right with me. I love him, i always have. And i cant seem to get over what has happened between us. I miss him so much, cry all the time, cant seem to get over it and get out into the world again. This has never happened to me before. He was such a big part of my life...it seem so empty now. We talk pretty regularly still and i am planning a trip to see him. But i am scared and excited at the same time. He has this new attitude that no one else matters but him, he doesnt need friends. I know he is pushing others away. I dont know what to expect, from him or me. I need to go see him...but i cant explain why. Friends dont want me to go, family doesnt want me to go. But i need to do this...if its bad...then I wont ever see him again. But...i need something out of this. their is so much more to the story, but any thoughts or advice would be wonderful. I could really use it. Thank you so much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Wed, 12-08-2004 - 3:55am
Greetings Zoe,
Bellina here! You state you were together for 2 years,not as boyfriend/galfriend,but were
intimate? So I gather the modterm today is friends and sometimes lovers,or with "benefits",as others post.Being a European (British/Italian gal)my customs are a bit
different and girlfriend/boyfriends would sit right after consumating intimacies,not just
friends.Anyway,he also seems to have contradictions in his emotions,first he cares for you,lets you reside in his guesthome,then suddenly changes heart and tells you to leave?
What's missing here? Does he treat all people in his life like this,or perhaps he has issues with friends,or financial problems? If you clarify this then my advice may help.I would be careful after your departure,moving thousands of miles away,he didn't hook up with someone in his proximities.But if you want to meet him,I'd not be so sweet,warm but
a bit cool.Reason being firstly why he told you to get out,second if he's truly wanting to rekindle whatever you had,friends or lovers. You can be both, but only if there's no other lady in his present situation.Please be careful not to get hurt,and see if you're treated with warmer more compassionate feelings.I would be cautionary if someone told me to leave,unless there were other circumstances causing such actions.I wish you all the best,just be careful with your emotions,as everyone deserves true love!Take care,Bellina