losing your virginity to a married man

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2004
losing your virginity to a married man
27
Tue, 04-27-2004 - 9:39am
Its not that I am confused about losing my virginity, but the fact that I lost it to a married man that is 9 years older than I. At 17, some people may think that it is still early to be having sex. What surpases that is the fact that he has been married for about 6 years. His relationship with his wife is not a healthy one. He has been in and out about 5 times but never divorced, and he approached me. He says he is still with his wife for financial reasons. He has also been in this type of situation before. What am I still doing with him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 9:38am
Honey,

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 9:43am
honeyvinegar...

I guess I DON'T get your point? You've chosen to play a combative game with me instead of reading and understanding my responses. This doesn't seem very mature or fair on your part.

Pianoguy is just expressing his own opinion. But I sense that you'd rather be confrontational and instead...transfer your personal experiences rather than consider how this 17-year old girl might actually be feeling right now?

Since picking a fight with you isn't (and wasn't) my intention, I'm gonna drop out of this discussion.

Each of us is entitled to his or her opinion....but calling me "sexist" because I've expressed mine seems a little childish on your part, doesn't it?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:24am
hi tg...i do get your point....i suppose there are women who wind up feeling used by men...its just i have found theres an awful lot of men who wind up hurt by women too...it is a pet peeve of mine to so frequently and automatically come to the assumption that the female is behaving foolishly in love, etc etc, and that most women are "giving" sex with the ulterior motive to snag the man....it was *my* impression this pianoguy was using sweettalk to convey his message that its common for women to have greater expectations in romance than men and to suggest that females "give" sex without giving due respect to that women enjoy sex too....its been *my* experience that in time both men and women desire more from romances, it is not just women who fall in love...yes, these boards are predominantly female and so we will see many sides and variations to females in romance...i don't think we have a proper balance of the sexes and so we don't have a true conclusion.

i guess it just irks me and comes across as "sexist" to me when men post in a manner i find mildly condenscending and presumptious as if most women are fools for love and most men are sex fiends out for one thing....there are plenty of sensible women who live their entire lives never being "used" by men...i am in my 40's and have never met a "dawg", in fact every man i've had a romance with i find to be very similar to me in terms of needs and expectations.

honey

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:44am
Honey,

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 2:43pm
you sound very nice tg, i'm just not sure a fellow man would be a great judge of what is mildly sexist or not...but i will take your advice and take posts with a grain of salt!

honey

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 3:32pm
Honey,

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 5:38pm
I AGREE WITH PIANOGUY 100% !!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:41pm
Tired faith.. I agree with Pianoguy here.. I've had the same experience (was 19 at the time) and he was my first boyfriend. Now that I'm 27, I'm thinking if he really loved me he should have let me go. He cannot promise anything in the first place. This guy wants to have his cake and it eat too!

So for someone as young as you, you have a lot ahead in store for you. Get out before it's too late. Best of luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:50pm
piane, do you realize now that some never learn how to love another enough to let them go? It's when they are thinking more of themselves than of you that they never learn that...

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:53pm
unh huh... you just like his music!!