Loss of Dating Skills

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Loss of Dating Skills
3
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 9:36am

Hello everyone,

I am writing from France and have been living here for the past two months and will be here for the rest of the year. I am writing because i cannot not get past can i get your phone number thing and i am so embarrassed by this. An example, i see a guy at a club we dance he asks for my number and wants to try to do something. Well on Saturday past we make plans to meet up but the place i chose was in the middle of a parade, I forgot and his phone died so he could not get in touch with me. I text him that night after waiting for a 1/2 hour to show up and said that i waited but no thanks anymore, Goodbye, and i said to keep someone waiting is not good and if it was just sex that he wanted then don't play games, let me know or don't call at all. I said this out of angray becasue i will admit i have not gone on a date in over a year and not had sex in two years. So i think i wsa just frustrated, he did apologize, but i think i opened up the whole can of worms about the whole sex thing and i apologized to him. I have now decided to allow him to call me becasue i believe i screwed this up, but most importatnt how can i get past the can i get your phone number, what can i do to but out the signal i am available and actually go out on a date. HELP!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 10:51am

I'm not sure what you mean about the calling/phone thing, but I do know this... Any person that stands you up is not worth a second chance unless there's a really good reason. Be careful that this guy isn't just playing games with you.


Kerry

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 12:10pm
thanks so much, the problem was that i had not heard from him at all and then poof you know i get his text from another phone and that was just so uncool to me you know. That is why i got angry and stuff. But how do i get back into the dating scheme of things without seeming over anxious, how do i turn on a guy without the extra crap
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 10:55pm

To get your dating mojo back, don't date. Instead join common interest groups or do things you like to do. You'll meet people you have things in common with, and they'll introduce you to other people. Try to go for activities where singles are likely to hang out.

Some things I've done: foreign language discussion groups; hiking; singles activity groups; low-key online sites like myspace where you can search common interests.

Are you in a major city? Should be even easier then. I get about 2 new dates per month using these avenues, and the 'practice' in turn has helped me feel more comfortable dating.

Also, don't be so hung up on how long it's been, just in case you are sending out 'desperation' vibes. Never a good thing. BTW, that guy you met, sounds like a clod. Nevermind him. Dance clubs are rife with that type.