Lost and confused
Find a Conversation
Lost and confused
| Tue, 11-16-2004 - 10:24pm |
Ok,here is my problem,I've Been with my boyfriend now for 4 months,well we've dated in the past for almost a year.and now we're back on again.I love this guy to death,He's the first person I've ever loved,and Things have been complicated lately,we both work alot and really don't have time to see each other lately.He was a virgin when I went out with him before and then I took that from him,I don't like how I put it here.well Its just weird having sex with him,I really think that he's just using me because there hasen't been at time that we haven't not had sex since we started in August of this year.I don't want to leave him,he means alot to me,can someone Help me ?

Sex is an important part of a relationship. But it should neither be overdone nor done less. If you think you guys are having extra sex. Or just sex then you need to talk to him. In a very casual non threatning way. And make your point to him that you think only thing keeping you two is sex for now . What will happen if you are ill for a month or cannot have sex for some reason ..would he go sleep around..now dont put it in exact words ..just try to reason with him and ask him if he thinks its not just for sex...that too assuming since you love him to death that means you are ready to be his wife and bear his babies.
Look at the bright side ..he is not banging other chicks ..like other jerks ..he is still your man ..keep it easy
this is from a guy who has yet to take the plunge
I'm not sure if your problem involves him not pursuing sex....and you wanting to be passionately desired and ravished...or if your problem revolves around the fact that things are more perfunctory and less passionate because of your current schedules.
I mean.....the guy hasn't had enough experience with women to be a great lover yet...so if he's not being passionate enough, involved enough, or doing something physically that you don't like or isn't doing something you wish he'd do - you're going toh ave to speak up you have experience, he doesn't.
If your problem revolves around the fact that when times get tough and things don't click - you two break up - and then when you "miss the benefits adn convenience of one another and the relationship as an entity" you reunite....well, that's something onlly YOU can resolve yourself to.
Is he with you because it's easy, convenient, comfortable, and beneficial...or he is with you out of respect and admiration for who you are as a person? Have you ever asked him that? Actually - you can always ask someone "what do you see in me, what do you like about me" - and you'll have your answer.
If they're stumped and say nothing, or what they say is trivial such as "you're always so cheerful" - basically - they're not that into YOU.....it's just that this is convenient and beneficial and it meets needs and expectations - but there is no "attachment and involvement" in you as a person.
If they can tell you a great deal on fundamental levels what they admire and respect about you....THEN they're into YOU.....and thru the tough times - they'll stick around.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com