Lost in Emotion

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2004
Lost in Emotion
4
Sat, 11-06-2004 - 11:26pm
My delima is one all to familiar. I have a friend of 4 years we always flirted he flirts all the time part of his personality, but nothing ever came of it, mostly because he is married. Well 3 months ago while his wife was gone out of town we did end up spending the night together well infact in turned into an entire week, an we both found we really connected. While I will not justify our indescretion I do need to add that his wife has cheated on him MANY times an was in fact cheating on him this same week. Problem is he did leave her and moved out at which time we spent more time together an I have fallen for him very hard, he has gone back to his wife for the sake of thier son an for her I know I am not totally niave, However we still speak on the phones several times everyday we have seen each other only 3 times since he went back 2 months ago an it has not gone beyond a kiss goodbye it is painful to know that in that short time we were together his family an all his friends knew an know about me an saw how much happier he was.Everyone thinks we belong together. But we arent an I dont want to lose his friendship because we were such good ones before I just dont know which will hurt worse holding on an pretending being a friend is enough an having just an emotional affair or letting go all together an losing everything? Please help any advice would be great

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
In reply to: krm_one
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 7:28am
Hi,

I don't think you are going to get much sympathy from anyone here. Cheating is cheating even if the spouse has done it too and may still be cheating. If he is still living with his wife you need to separate yourself from him immediately. If he decides to leave his wife then maybe you can reconnect but in the meantime leave it alone. BTW, you may want to post in the 'My Affair' board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
In reply to: krm_one
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 7:55am

I don't think you can be friends with this married man that you've already had an affair with.

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2004
In reply to: krm_one
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 9:19am
Thank you both for your responses I was in no way looking for sympathy nor justification I know what happened between us is an was wrong no matter what I do feel bad about it an I know he made his choice an think some times it just takes some one elses unbiased blantant truthfullness to help give us the push we need to face the music I will not be taking anymore phone calls from this man for my dake an his an I will take the time i need to let myself heal he maybe have everything I have looked for in 5 years since my divorce except he cant give it not to me anyway. thanks again for simply backing up what I know I have to do...
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
In reply to: krm_one
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 10:08am
If you like to live a rollercoaster life off aemotions I'd say keep up what you are doing. Go take a peek at the affairs support board, they are miserable. One day they are flying high from contact the next depressed or angry because of things going on and not being able to see or talk to their MM. It's not a fun life to lead.

Whether she cheats or not is irrelevant, they are together. You need to respect that and move on with your life. You cannot do that if you continue talking to him and being with him.

Find someone that is single and deserves your love.