IN LOVE & CONFUSED ... help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2006
IN LOVE & CONFUSED ... help!!
1
Wed, 10-11-2006 - 3:55pm
so there's this guy that i am seriously in love with. i've known him for two years, but we have been through a lot. we've been getting really serious the past 5 months. we have not had sex yet, because i'm not ready for it. he always talks about it with me, but respects that i won't have it yet. he went off to college an hour and a half away about 2 months ago, but we stayed togehter. we see each other about every 2 weeks when he comes home. he has called me every single night since he's been gone, and we talk for hours. we're even closer now than when he lived 5 minutes from me. i really thought he loved me and wanted to be with me. but the other day i got a little nosey and logged onto his facebook and read his private messages. he was talking to some girl about hanging out (you have to know my boyfriend though.. he is a huge flirt and i dont care if he hangs out with other girls, he just can't cross the line, and he has never cheated on me and i don't think he ever will..) and he asked if she was single. she said "yes... but it looks like you're not" with a sad face. he sent one back saying "o and by the way... i pretty much am single" when i saw this my heart stopped. i mean why would he want other girls thinking he's single if he's not? i told him what happened and i was REALLY upset, and he could tell. he denied ever sending a message like that, but i KNOW it was him, i just caught him in a lie and the only thing he could do was lie. he re-assured me that he does not want to be single, he is with me and always wants to just be with me. i mean sure... he's living in a new place and wants to make new friends... but why would he tell someone he's single? i feel like he's keeping his college life and home life separate, so he tells girls he's single because they would never really know anyways since i live so far away, but why would he want them to think that? am i over-reacting? WHAT IS HE THINKING?!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 10-11-2006 - 6:41pm
He's thinking that he wanted that other lady to think he was single. He may not be as committed as he says he is. He tells people what he wants them to hear.