Love lost?
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| Mon, 04-23-2007 - 12:43pm |
Is it possible to lose the love you have felt for a person for a short time? I have been having to explain the way I am and how I feel to guy that I have been dating for about 2 months now and I am getting really tired of it. I am a single mother and I am the first woman he has dated that has had a child so he tells me that this is difficult for him. He wants to spend almost every day with me and wants to be a part of my son's life but it's like he is pushing it so that the relationship can go faster and farther. I don't like fast because of my son and no matter how much I tell him to slow down, he just doesn't get it. He gets defensive and starts questioning why I want things this way or that. He is a very thoughtful and caring guy but is VERY needy of attention that I can't always give.
Sorry this got a little long winded. I just want to know if what I'm feeling (not liking/loving him as much anymore) is something normal. I just don't feel the things I used to feel for him even though it has only been a couple of months. I just don't want this to be a constant thing in our relationship.
Thanks for any advice.
Jennifer

2 months isn't a long time and it's even a shorter time to not be liking someone. Sounds to me like the 2 of you may not be compatible... I think you're doing the right thing by not letting him push into your son's life. But if he's pushing so early, it's probably just his personality to do so.
Personally if at such an early stage I found myself not liking the person I was with, I wouldn't last too much longer in the relationship. Feelings usually grow, not fade during the first few months.
Hope this helps.
Hi Jennifer!
Pianoguy knows that some men have NO TROUBLE AT ALL when it comes to getting along (or co-habitating) with a Mom who has a child from a previous marriage. .
HOWEVER...
Other men in that situation DON'T do as well!
They could love you to death, but might have a major problem getting along with your beast....err....off-spring!
And the moment this type of a man realizes that he can't 'strictly have the mom without her child'----he'll BOLT!
Sorry I have to end this response in a minor key?
Pianoguy
It sounds like you two are simply not on the same page.
Vexer, I think you and Kerry are right. I think I am just going to have to tell him that since it is so hard on him to understand where I'm coming from then I think it would be best if we just remained friends. He will NOT understand this since he has some deeper love for me than I do for him. I think that he needs someone without children. I have been afraid of this since he first time he started "pushing" me to introduce him to my son. He loves kids but he can't push himself on my son to try and make him like him. He has no control over that. I just don't think I can give him the amount of attention he needs.
Thanks for all of the help!
Jennifer